I just declared my philosophy major this past Friday—yes, I’m well aware I will be unemployed after graduation, no need to tell me. As a celebration of this momentous occasion, I am throwing a metaphorical pizza party, because 1) I’m a philosophy major, so of course it has to be metaphorical and 2) as previously stated, I will soon be unemployed and so I will not actually be able to afford all these pizzas. So, order your metaphorical pizzas, and I’ll tell you which 19th century German philosopher I think you would be!
