Halftime Leisure

The Weekly List: Songs for a MyAccess Crash

November 20, 2019

Illustration by Jacob Bilich

Imagine this—it’s 11 o’clock on a Friday, and freshmen across Georgetown are rushing to register for classes. They’re in one of the very last spots for registration and are therefore understandably frazzled. They log in to MyAccess, only to be greeted with an orange error page. They refresh the page, assuming that it must be a mistake. After about 20 panicked refreshes and a google search that only presented them with more questions, they realize with horror that, no, it was not a problem with SaxaNet or with their computer. MyAccess is down at the worst possible time. 

For many unfortunate freshmen, this nightmare became a reality last Friday, as MyAccess crashed during registration. If you are a student who has been affected by this crash—or an upperclassman who can sympathize with this struggle—this playlist is for you.


1. “Sugar, We’re Going Down,” Fall Out Boy

In this post-MyAccess-crash world, this song has ceased to be an angsty mid-2000s middle school anthem and has taken on a new life, at least in my mind, as the embodiment of what I assume must have happened within MyAccess’s internal systems when hundreds of students attempted to log on at once. Was this more than we bargained for yet? Yes. Yes it was.

2. “Help!” The Beatles

Panic, need for assistance from a specific person (in this case, an IT specialist), and desperation. These were the primary emotions that I felt as I tried to access the Spring 2020 Class List to no avail, and they just so happen to be emotions perfectly embodied by this Beatles classic. 

3. “Trouble,” Cage the Elephant

Log on to Georgetown Memes for Non-Conforming Jesuit Teens, and all you’ll find is trouble on your left and trouble on your right in the wake of this registration nightmare. 

4. “Road to Nowhere,” Talking Heads

After several panic-stricken minutes where nothing has changed, a part of you starts to resign yourself to the idea that you’ll be stuck on three waitlists for classes and that the other two classes will be with professors that have less than a 3.5 on RateMyProfessor. 

5. “Give Me Time,” Dawes

In the midst of all of this drama, you realize that you have Problem of God in a half an hour, and the clock is ticking away. The site is still down, and you see your chances at getting into that science-for-non-majors class slipping away slowly. If there’s one thing that you need right now, it’s time.

6. “Dancing in the Dark,” Bruce Springsteen

Finally, you get into MyAccess and quickly sign up for the classes that you can get into, even if they weren’t even close to the ones you planned for. As you rush to get what you can, you don’t have the chance to look up your professors. You have no idea what your next semester might hold. At this point, you’re just dancing in the dark. 

7. “Complicated,” Avril Lavigne

This one’s for you, MyAccess. It could have been so simple, so easy, and yet you had to crash. Why’d you have to go and make things so complicated?

Lily Kissinger
Lily Kissinger is a junior in the college studying Psychology. When she isn't writing, you can find her facetiming her dog.

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