The key to any newsroom isn’t integrity, drive, or skill, but rather a lively group chat. Working off that belief, the Voice’s sports (or sportz) team is one of the best in the country. While writers occasionally evaded game coverages, there were many nights where everyone became auspiciously available immediately after the game to suggest what the writer should use as the recap’s headline. For our own amusement and the good of the public, we’ve compiled and rated a list of our (appropriate) rejected headlines from this year, which serve in their own special way as a recap of the 2025-26 men’s basketball season.
Malik Mack Mania
The Mack I Need — 8/10
Since Olivia Dean headlined most of my playlists this basketball season, I pitched this one as a future headline the next time junior guard Malik Mack was our top scorer in a game (a common occurrence in the regular season). However, our postseason featured golden performances from senior center Vince Iwuchukwu and junior center Julius Halaifonua, and thus this headline remained an unrealized possibility. If Mack doesn’t enter the transfer portal, maybe next year! — Sydney Carroll
Can’t Mack a single shot: Hoyas fall to Villanova Wildcats — 4/10
This one was mean. It was also true. During our Feb. 7 game against Villanova (an 80-73 loss), Georgetown made only 40% of our field goals and a mere 28% of our three-pointers. However, it was unfair to assign the loss to Mack—he was our top scorer with 21 points. His name unfortunately lends itself to some of my laziest puns, and so he became the victim of what was a team-wide loss. — Sydney Carroll
A Return to MackDonough? Malik Favors Campus Over CapitalOne — 6/10
Malik Mack had exactly one quote in this 950-word article, and yet I tried to mention him two times in my nine-word headline. Why? I was inspired by the ghost of former Voice Sportz legend Ben Jakabcsin, who always managed a Mack pun in every headline. At least we finally nailed down what MSB stands for: the MalikMackDonough School of Basketball. — Sydney Carroll
Supersize Me: Big Mack Serves Up Team-High 21 Points – 7/10
Despite falling to Xavier in a nail-biter, Malik Mack tallied a 21-piece in a Whopper of an effort on behalf of the Hoyas. Mack scored his career 1000th point, giving us even more of a reason to boast about him in the headline. The junior guard was cooking with gas the whole game: Mack put some spicy mustard on his passes to earn three assists and had a tender touch on his three treys. But Mack was just one of Five Guys, and the Hoyas fell a fry short of a Happy Meal. — Megan Geiger
Cooley Corner
Pope Leo? Meet Coach Ed — 7/10
Georgetown played Villanova three times this season, losing the regular season games by 22 combined points. Nevertheless, the Wildcats couldn’t pull out a win when it counted—the BIG EAST Tournament quarterfinal. Against all odds, the last-ranked Hoyas stunned the Wildcats with a statement 78-64 win. While Villanova may have a notable alumnus in Pope Leo XIV, with this win, there is a strong argument that Ed Cooley may be even more important. (I think we are just upset that a different Catholic school gets to claim the Pope.) — Julia Maurer
Losing his Cool-ey: The Voice sits down with the child Ed hurt — 9/10
In their Dec. 20 game against Xavier, Georgetown came tantalizingly close to winning—pulling up just short with a 77-80 loss at home. Malik Mack’s missed three-pointer in the final seconds of the game compounded the frustration of the loss of a game where Georgetown missed 18 free throws. The frustration got to head coach Ed Cooley, who picked up a nearby water bottle and absolutely launched it into the second row of seats, straight at a kid sitting in his mom’s lap. It was definitely an accident on Cooley’s part, and he apologized profusely, but we would be lying if we said we didn’t joke about getting an interview with the kid. While the child was fortunately completely fine, Cooley received a suspension for the incident, which neither we, nor the kid, nor the entire Xavier student body will forget. — Julia Maurer
Fire Cooley, hire Trae Young – 5/10 (it doesn’t rhyme)
New D.C. transplants would never imagine that Trae Young, Washington Wizards guard, was also a transplant. Young joined Washington from the Atlanta Hawks at the trade deadline while recovering from a right knee MCL sprain. While benched, he did not miss any opportunities to flex his newfound D.C. loyalty, sporting jerseys of D.C. greats Allen Iverson, John Wall, and Alex Ovechkin. While he made his way back onto the court, averaging 20.5 minutes per night in his first four games, he suffered a right quad contusion on March 16 against the Warriors and left the game. Since he clearly has respect for the great Georgetown program of yore (shoutout Iverson) and free time on his hands (if not on his quad), he could be just the coach our team needs. Just don’t ask about his salary… — Eileen Weisner
What the Halai? – 8/10
Recently, Ben Rice of the New York Yankees received a shoutout in Red Light by A Boogie Wit da Hoodie. Last spring, Rob49 released WTHELLY, evocatively referencing Pacers guard Tyrese Haliburton as “helly ‘Burton”. Haliburton received this honor alongside greats “helly ‘Bron James” and “helly Cyrus” (Miley Cyrus), only to sit out the entire 2025-2026 NBA season due to a torn Achilles and a serious shingles diagnosis. Since Haliburton has not added to the song’s hype nor delivered any quality basketball play this season, his lyric should be replaced with a player with outstanding BIG EAST play, like Julius Halaifonua. Halaifonua tempered the DePaul Blue Demons in the BIG EAST tournament over DePaul. He led the Hoyas in scoring against Villanova, whom they upset to advance to the BIG EAST semifinals. His first career double-double came at a good time, leaving some to say “What the Halai” about why he wasn’t included in the starting lineup earlier. — Eileen Weisner
Honorable Mentions:
Pope vs. Jesuits
Second Half Team
Too Cooley for School-ey
1 macK (for when Mack reached one thousand points)
