Brendan Baumgardner


Lez’hur Ledger: Please don’t sue us, Scientologists

I need to work on my mind thrusts. Yesterday, I learned that the negativity in my life is the result of my weak dynamic thrusts, which are the product of my overly dominant reactive mind storing engrams.


Giving for dummies

Pop quiz, hot shot. It’s the day before Christmas and, as usual, you haven’t bought a single gift. If you try to buy everyone thoughtful gifts, you will run out... Read more


The Universal Life Church: When “mister” just won’t do

No one is ever going to address me as Dr. Baumgardner. This is not a surprise, as I have never planned on being a doctor. I don’t have a mind... Read more


lehz’ur ledger: Burlesquities

As I nursed my bottle of Mickey’s malt liquor and peered off the balcony, I wondered—are those fireballs supposed to be coming so close to my face? This was last... Read more


Lez’hur Ledger: D.C.’s haunts

In death, as in life, Andrew Jackson is kind of a dick. At least, that’s what I learned Monday night on my professionally-curated ghost tour of Lafayette Square. Apparently our... Read more


Solving your coffee conundrum

Georgetown students are, by and large, avid consumers of legal recreational consumables. Alcohol is the most obvious, dominating the weekend nightlife. Tobacco also does its part to color the Georgetown... Read more


Serious criticism

Leave it to Joel and Ethan Coen to turn the quotidian struggles of a middle-class Jewish family in 1960s suburbia into a dark, brooding masterpiece. A Serious Man is the... Read more


Gervais’s Invention won’t change the world

I lie a lot. I don’t think I lie too much (and of course I never lie to you, devoted readers), but I do lie enough to get by. I... Read more


Velociraptors at Verizon Center

We are a generation raised on dinosaurs. As current college students, we were the perfect age to be scared senseless by Jurassic Park years ago, and for those of us... Read more