Voices

Monologues counterproductive

I would like to thank Jessica Bachman (“Censure for a Censor”) for raising important questions about my not funding subsidies for tickets to the Vagina Monologues in my role as Faculty in Residence for the Culture and Performance Living and Learning Community (CPLLC). I would also like to thank her for writing a balanced article, even though the editorial staff of the Voice cut out most of her quotes of my substantive arguments. (I’ve seen the original form of her piece, and it is much better and fairer than what the Voice published.) I would, nonetheless, like to respectfully disagree with Ms. Bachman’s opinion that my conscientious decision not to subsidize tickets to the Vagina Monologues was religious discrimination against the students who wanted to see it. My current policy is to personally match the price of each ticket purchased by a CPLLC member with a donation to My Sister’s Place, the charity that the Monologues support. I feel that this is a reasonable compromise between either subsidizing the tickets or not subsidizing them.

By Alexander Pruss February 15, 2007

Voices

You say tomato, I say you’re wrong

“Can I get a glass of water?”

“I’m sorry, a glass of what?”

“Water.”

“No, you said ‘wooder’. In the rest of the country, we pronounce it wa-ter.”

By Marco Cerna February 15, 2007

Voices

From D.C. to a dung hut

If you had predicted freshman year over dinner at Leo’s that I would join the Peace Corps, I would have laughed till ginger ale shot out my nose. Then I would tell you about a trip my family took to Kenya when I was seven. I ate gazelle, chased baboons, and enjoyed myself thoroughly. But, visiting a Masai village, my brother pointed at the walls of the dung huts and told me just what dung was. Shit? I was in the Business School freshman year, and though I didn’t know what I wanted to do after, my plans in no way included a dung hut in Africa.

By Kathryn Brand February 15, 2007

Voices

Carrying on: A desperate woman knocks

My dad and I had just sat down to a spaghetti dinner when the pounding on the door began. It was furious and incessant, as if someone were trying to knock the door down. My dad hurriedly shuffled to the door and opened it a crack. A screaming woman forced her arm through the opening and the rest of her body followed. Someone, she said, was trying to kill her. Running over, I caught a glimpse of the snowy moonlit expanse outside the front door. There, wild, noble-looking and gray, stood a Siberian Husky. The door slammed shut, and my dad twisted the deadbolt into place.

By Austin Richardson February 15, 2007

Voices

Censure for a censor

Believe it or not, there is a group of Georgetown students who would rather spend their Friday nights baking bread from scratch or watching King Richard III at the Shakespeare Theater than competing in beer-pong tournaments. These students live on the Culture and Performance Living and Learning Community (CPLLC), a unique outlet for creative Hoyas. But when the CPLLC refused to subsidize its members’ tickets to the University-sponsored production of Eve Ensler’s the Vagina Monologues, I was confronted with the sad reality that even Georgetown’s more progressive institutions are unable to escape censorship and discrimination.

By Jessica Bachman February 8, 2007

Voices

Chillin’ with my faux Jew ‘fro

I hate yarmulkes. They mess up my hair. And because they cover up the spot on your head where men typically begin balding, I used to think that they make you go bald.

By Keenan Steiner February 8, 2007

Voices

Blackwater in hot water in Iraq

Most people have not heard of Blackwater USA, a “professional military company” located in the countryside of North Carolina, where the landscape is dotted with tanks, helicopters and firing ranges. Today it, along with Haliburton, is one of the largest private contracting firms operating in Iraq. Hired by the U.S. Department of Defense, its employees play a vital role in military operations, fulfilling positions ranging from bodyguards to mechanics. Oversight of these contractors, however, is severely limited. Not part of the military chain of command, and outside governmental disciplinary procedures, their presence in the combat zone can be extremely disruptive.

By Christa Montani February 8, 2007

Voices

Carrying On: the secret of my happiness

Last weekend a friend of mine and I were throwing a pair of cowboy boots across the room at each other and a rogue shot knocked out my front tooth: about the worst possible thing that could happen in that situation. My friend begged my forgiveness with his head cradled in his hands, but I wasn’t concerned. I flashed him a broken grin and laughed, then pulled out the phone book and called a dentist. Problem solved. The lesson I learned from this was not to be more careful with my teeth, but that hockey players really don’t have it as bad as I’d thought.

By Michael Bruns February 8, 2007

Voices

Our father, who art in Congress

One night last spring, working as a host at a ritzy Washington restaurant, I met a conservative congressman and his wife at the door. Knowing their table was far from ready, I started chatting while hanging up their coats. Discovering my Georgetown affiliation, the congressman’s wife demanded to know my religious and political views. The congressman rolled his eyes, clearly wanting to leave his work at the office, but when his better-half found out I was both a liberal and a Catholic, she demanded to know how I feel about abortion. The air of pleasant small talk dissipated after I said “pro-choice.” She smirked at me. “Not very Catholic, eh?” For the rest of the night, whenever we passed, she would lean over and ask, “Jesus change your mind yet?”

By Tim Fernholz February 1, 2007

Voices

Bonding through brutality

I’m a firm believer in the unifying powers of a good game. You can’t beat that surge of adrenaline and camaraderie that accompanies a rousing round of Pictionary and the toe-curling thrill that every painstakingly organized game of mafia creates. I have a special place in my heart, however, for backyard games.

By Katherine Norton February 1, 2007

Voices

Heelys: wheely, wheely fast

It had rained the night before and, as my classmate fluidly sailed past me on the slick asphalt path, my reaction was that I had witnessed a miracle. It was my first time seeing a pair of Heelys. The first messiah had walked on water—could the second one glide inexplicably across wet pavement?

By Sam Sweeney February 1, 2007

Voices

More complicated than carbs

I grew up on a strange blend of Happy Meals and granola, white bread and Flintstones’ vitamins. My physical activity revolved around a hula hoop and relatively infrequent Jane Fonda workout sessions alongside my mother. The monkey bars frightened me, and I still can’t quite turn corners on a bicycle.

By Perry Collins February 1, 2007

Voices

Pop! goes the femur

I knew that the head of this patient’s femur was going to need to go back into his pelvis. They would drill a hole through the bone and fix it in place to the bed frame until surgery could be performed. I had learned to steel myself for the brutal procedure, picturing it in my head before it actually happened in front of me, like I’d done countless times over the previous six months of my internship in Indianapolis’ public hospital. I remember idly wondering if they would need a spade bit.

By Ryan Callahan January 25, 2007

Voices

The first snow of the rest of my life

When it is going to snow, you can smell it in the air. There is a cool bite, but not so cold that a deep breath stings going down. Just before the snow is the best time to walk outdoors, look up into an overcast sky and wait with anticipation.

By Lauren Gaskill January 25, 2007

Voices

Hillary and Bill, sitting in a tree

After 227 years of white men in the nation’s highest office, this election has experienced a “surge” in diversity. Among the announced Democratic candidates are half Mexican-American Gov. Bill Richardson, half African-American Sen. Barack Obama, and full Woman-American Sen. Hillary Clinton. Yet while Clinton has the novel opportunity to potentially be the first female politician nominated for the presidency by a major party, her surname will constantly remind us that she is not just any lady.

By Kent Elliott January 25, 2007

Voices

Carrying On: Life and death in the fast lane

If you’ve ever fallen asleep at the wheel, you know what a bewildering experience it is to wake up. And if you survive, and bring your car to a safe stop, those moments of terror recede into something between a dream and a memory.

By Austin Richardson January 25, 2007

Voices

Carrying on: Is Somalia Iraq 2.0?

“Islamist attacks destablize southern region.” “Road-side bomb leaves 20 dead.” “U.S. strike kills multiple civilians.”

By Michael Bruns January 18, 2007

Voices

A true patriot’s priorities

Five golden rings, four calling birds … three American fryers … two turtledoves and a partridge in a pair tree.

By Kathryn Brand January 18, 2007

Voices

Several films, zero fame, all love

The wind was heavy, it was too cold for a tee-shirt and I was scared my nipples were going to show up in the shot. It’s not a normal concern for me, but Ross has a damn nice camera, and he assured us this was being filmed in HD. Every detail, every blemish, would show up on the projection screen in his basement when we were finished, from the discontinuities in my hairstyle to my potentially cold nipples. Cinema!

By Mike Stewart January 18, 2007