Voices

Reservoir hot dog

A man with a hot dog suit. And a gun.

By the Voice Staff September 16, 2004

Voices

A practical guide for hurricane season

Forget the duct tape, grab the wine!

By the Voice Staff September 16, 2004

Voices

This has all been wonderful, but now I’m on my way

A phish-head learns to accept change and move on

By the Voice Staff September 9, 2004

Voices

My year a-bored

I was burned out with school, burned out on drugs and needed time to find my chi.

By the Voice Staff September 9, 2004

Voices

Carrying On: What’s wrong with being a little childish?

The author reverts to childhood while abroad

By the Voice Staff September 9, 2004

Voices

Watch out for the ether bunny

Hi everyone! It’s Joan Rivers here at the Apocalypse, where it’s not just a parade of the damned, but of the damned good looking! I can’t even tell you how hard it is to get in these gates, but luckily we’re inside where I’ll be keeping my wrinkled, corpse-like finger on the pulse of what’s hot and what’s not.

By the Voice Staff September 2, 2004

Voices

Republicans Welcome: Where to Stay at the RNC

Would you like clean sheets with that?

By the Voice Staff September 2, 2004

Voices

Carrying On: The plums I carried in Uzbekistan

While planning my trip to Uzbekistan, I imagined many possible scenarios for what this country would be like. Most of them involved camels, naan, irrigation and Soviet-induced ecological catastrophe. Somehow, the predicament of being compelled to pick fruit while wearing a polka-dotted skirt and strappy sandals was not one of the images I had in mind.

By the Voice Staff September 2, 2004

Voices

First-years: Listen to us, you fools

Climb down the Exorcist steps. Take a romantic stroll around the monuments by moonlight. Climb the John Carroll statue. Eat a Chicken Madness. If you don’t, you may be a terrorist.

By the Voice Staff August 26, 2004

Voices

I only get the negatives: confessions of a bitter break up

Like the headline says, confessions of a bitter break up

By the Voice Staff August 26, 2004

Voices

Understanding the two faces of Chile

Can a torture camp ever really become a “Park of Peace”?

By the Voice Staff August 26, 2004

Voices

Sunshine boy goes to hell

Sounds of giggling and squealing are leaking through the hall as the couple next door play around with the vibrating, coin-operated bed. I’m sitting in my room at the Hotel 69 doing homework, automatically making me the biggest loser in the building. It doesn’t matter that everyone else in the building is porking an aging hooker, it still has to be more fun than memorizing characters from a textbook by the dim lamplight.

By the Voice Staff April 29, 2004

Voices

Missing the veteran

Massive blocks of concrete are toppled into a giant heap, thick wires stick out at strange angles and bright blue Port-a-Potties outline the ruins. The site is entirely unrecognizable. The debris of Veteran’s Stadium, piled several hundred feet high on the asphalt, amounts to an estimated 70,000 cubic yards of material.

By the Voice Staff April 29, 2004

Voices

Spearhead with Mommy

“No thank you,” my mother said politely declining the joint a scrappy twenty-something stoner offered her. To some, it might seem bizarre to have complete strangers offer your parents drugs. By this point in the evening, though, nothing could faze me.

If someone had predicted this situation a mere week earlier, I would have bet my very life against them.

By the Voice Staff April 29, 2004

Voices

Enslaved by Zara

I see it. I am on a path toward it. Nothing will deter me now. With arms shaking under a load of acrylics and wool knits, I look straight ahead and imagine myself there-at the red and orange clothing rack across the room. The obstacles ahead present a challenge: meandering customers with wandering eyes, glancing at the shiny white walls in search of the perfect evening ensemble, a smart suit or a sales associate to assist them with their shopping needs.

By the Voice Staff April 29, 2004

Voices

Veggie nuts

Alex Johnston (SFS ‘07) plans on taking next year off to pursue an exciting career in the budding “nutraceutical industry.” Then he plans on retiring. “My parents made me promise that after I retire I’ll come back to my studies,” he says. But that doesn’t make it any easier for a budding millionaire to concentrate on school.

By the Voice Staff April 22, 2004

Voices

All the best cheerleaders get murdered

In 1991, a Mrs. Wanda Halloway was imprisoned for six months for plotting to kill Verna Heath, a prospective cheerleader, in an attempt to clear a spot for her own daughter on the cheerleading squad. This sordid tale has recently been adapted into a made-for-TV-movie.

By the Voice Staff April 22, 2004

Voices

Another pint for the expatriate

It was beautiful, really. Craning my neck to see past the crowd, I spotted my friend take hold of the two pints of Guinness from the bar and begin to weave his way through the throngs of the tipsy back to our table. He bumped into people, sure-it was impossible not to-but not even a drop of foam, let alone beer, skated down the sides of the glasses.

By the Voice Staff April 22, 2004

Voices

Read into this writing

I’m reading a book, and it’s a good book, but that’s just the problem. In the thick of the text, when plots and characters and language merge, and when scenes connect and stories layer, it all makes just too much sense. The details fit too well. The book crested into its crescendo, and I felt pressed to escape back into reality, back into my own head where questions are more common than manicured realities.

By the Voice Staff April 15, 2004