Is your porn addiction getting in the way of your life? Don’t be ashamed. It happens to everybody. Maybe you started out reading Maxim or Men’s Health. The glistening bodies lured you into the hard stuff. Now you can’t escape. Now that you’ve read magazines where people have no clothes, the ones with clothes just seem so boring. So stifling. So unnatural. When you read normal magazines, you wish you were reading porn. You imagine Martha Stewart doing dirty things. Have you opened accounts at every video store in town, hoping, just hoping that one would have a good porn section? (The little place on N St. actually does.) Have these stores cancelled your accounts, because you never return the videos?
Don’t worry; you’re not alone. There is a helping hand that is reaching out through the veins of public transportation. Like a beacon in the night, Metrobuses across the town are speckled with a window to help. “Are you addicted to porn?” They ask. Yes. Yes. Call the number. Get help. Before you get your swimsuit issure.