Recent tragic events have resuscitated debate regarding civil liberties in America. Accordingly, many have expressed worry that law enforcement agencies will gain further power to tap phone lines, detain suspects and generally give people a hard time. However, rest assured that there is one right that will be forever preserved: your right to carve a tree in your front yard into a 7-foot phallus.
According to an Associated Press report, Jean Paul Parshall of Lacey, Wa., did exactly that earlier this year.
“I get all kinds of amusement out of that thing,” Parshall was quoted as saying. Not surprisingly, some local residents are horrified, including a woman who must drive past Parshall’s house to take her six-year old daughter to school every morning.
Local authorities agree: while Parshall’s taste may be questionable, it is protected under the First Amendment. Not to say that they didn’t check on the legality of his carving; AP also quoted Thurston County sheriff’s Capt. Dan Kimball as noting, “We don’t have a county ordinance that I know of that says you can’t carve your tree into a penis.” Georgetown residents should research whether the District has a similar law; after last year’s uproar over a graffiti-style mural on a local house, the 7-foot wooden phallus trend that will no doubt sweep the nation cannot be expected to go over well.
