Coffee has become for college students what Nicorette gum is for most smokers?a hyper-addictive drug with the bonus of flavor that can be a heavy hitter on the pocketbooks. It may not be so palatable at first, but once you’re hooked, you’re hooked. With coffee’s promulgation into the mainstream comes coffee snobs who refuse anything but the bitterest and darkest of roasts and to which sugar and cream is a godforsaken blasphemy. While Uncommon Grounds might do the trick for those pressed for time and energy, off-campus java venues abound. Thus, Voice Leisure presents the definitive guide for reaching coffee-snob nirvana off the beaten path.
Starbucks
Leavey Center across from Center Grille
The best way to enjoy coffee from the creators of the Frappucino is similar to the way most people take Folger’s in a cup on a wintery morning?with lots of sugar. Sure, Starbucks coffee is a tribute to corporate America, but when a 50/50 Arabica-Robusta blend substitutes the dark, full-bodied flavor of “good” coffee with a bitter-sour aftertaste that only eight packs of sugar can cure, it’s just not acceptable.
Strengths: Starbucks has name brand recognition, if that is what you are looking for. And with espresso in a can (heavily sugared of course) what can possibly be wrong? Starbucks also opens much earlier than other coffee shops in the immediate vicinity.
Weaknesses: The lack of muzak or a quaint lounge in which to study without actually buying anything makes this Starbucks a no-go.
Grade: C-. All the usual strengths of Starbucks (pseudo-Art Deco ambiance, pre-programmed robot employees and guaranteed low quality) are missing from its Leavey Center branch. A real shame.
Murky
1257 Wisconsin Ave., N.W.
Founder Nicholas Cho remarks that with Murky, he is attempting to “lift D.C. out of mediocrity by providing espresso on a whole new level.” A bold statement? Not after you try the brew. No drip coffee here, just espresso and at remarkably low prices. Located in a literal hole in the wall on Wisconsin and Prospect, the inconspicuous stand offers drinks made to order with a Northern Italian’s precision and craft. The result is the best latte this side of the Atlantic with no frills and perfect balance.
Strengths: Perfect shots and consistent, beautifully concocted caf? favorites.
Weaknesses: Ambiance? Try the sidewalk. No drip coffee means this is not the place for the Americano-shy. A bit of a hike from campus, but worth the trek.
Grade: A-. An espresso purist’s wet dream, but loses points in the overall experience.
Dean & Deluca
3276 M Street, N.W.
Dean & Deluca’s espresso was apparently rated number one in NYC this past year, or so the management claims. Good beans or not, the baristas at the popular yup-food store are poorly trained at best, leaving bitter, watered-down shots more often than not. A strong selection of varietals in the drip realm, however, is D&D’s saving grace. One of the few worthwhile spots for good black coffee from around the world, the caf? offers wholesale beans and fresh-brewed selections, including the 100 percent Arabica/Venezualan “Georgetown Roast” (low-acidity, full, earthy and mellow) and the mixed Latin American “House Blend” (bright, sweet, smooth and rich). Teas, pastries and over-priced groceries round out the experience.
Strengths: The best quality and variety of drip coffees in the neighborhood and semi-convenient location at Potomac and M Streets.
Weaknesses: Brick and wrought-iron stylings make this a less-than-cozy hang-out, and sub-par technique on espresso drinks makes the selection uneven at best.
Grade: B. A wonderful spot for a good cup of coffee to accent a weekend jaunt on M Street, but too far off campus for a quick fix. Also too frigid to make us want to linger for long.
The Coffee Beanery
3110 M St., N.W.
Starbucks’ corporate enemy number one and grandaddy of sterile atmosphere fails to impress. This chain offers a wide selection of snacks, blended beverages and about as much ambiance as the Rosslyn McDonald’s. The experience of hiking past Wisconsin into the aesthetically unimpressive Beanery is rounded out by over-priced fare and small, uncomfortable furniture. At least Starbucks has trendy-looking, oversized furniture and track lighting. Fortunately, corporate standardization has rendered drink-preparation an idiot-proof exercise in button-pushing. So expect consistently average drinks to satiate a latte craving on the way to Foggy Bottom, but little more.
Strengths: The coffee is company prefab and consumer-bagged, so the Beanery offers a wide array of daily drips and take-home options, including an inoffensive and full “House Blend” and an often tasty flavor of the day (the Hawaiian Coconut is especially good). The drinks are the same at every location, so you always know what you are getting.
Weaknesses: As innovative, novel and pricey as other corporate coffee shops (we’ll let you determine what that means), but without the now-expected, pseudo-urbane veneer. Geographically not so practical for a morning jolt, and not worth the walk for any other reason, particularly come winter.
Grade: D. Essentially a haven for the unadventurous, M Street-bound. If you need a skinnydecafsugarfreeextrahot latte and have money to burn, they’d be happy to oblige.
La Madeleine
3000 M St., N.W.
The simulated French bistro experience of La Madeleine is in and of itself a worthwhile endeavor. Large tables, tasty soup, free bread and subtle lighting make the restaurant a gem for the impoverished college student seeking both a refuge from Georgetown campus and a warm place to bunker down from November through March. The best part, however, remains in the bean; La Madeleine offers bottomless carafes of sludgy, delicious “American” and “French”-flavored drip, which you can refill to your heart’s desire as you deploy your study material for extended sessions.
Strengths: Super-cozy and dirt-cheap, the coffee both kicks like a mule and never stops flowing.
Weaknesses: Too far of a walk (M Street across from the Art Store) to provide quick fixes during the day, and not by any means gourmet. Designed specifically for poor students on extended visits to the basement dining room.
Grade: A. Limited range, but that range happens to suit our indiscriminate, misanthropic, coffee-swilling ilk perfectly.
7-Eleven
1600 Wisconsin Ave., N.W.
Middle-of-the-night jaunts to the 7-Eleven espresso bar are good for two things: practical jokes and that last-minute energy boost for the final leg home from Wisconsin and Reservoir. Perhaps not the most pleasant of experiences, but a universal one. The selection is limited?there’s mystery blend schwag, ice-blended mystery schwag in a machine and mystery blend schwag with various syrup shots. Plus, the ambiance consists mostly of Twinkies, Doritos and condoms. But no other place is open 24/7. And here, beggars can be choosers if you don’t care much what the choices are.
Strengths: This is the only option for a quickie at odd hours of the night. Oh, and at this gourmet espresso bar, cream and sugar are complimentary. What a deal.
Weaknesses: Rude employees, coffee that can take the paint off cars, crackhead muggings, self-service, drive-by shootings and more.
Grade: E for effort.
