One week into the semester and you’ve already run out of ways to procrastinate? No problem. A couple of websites exist that, once discovered, promise to kidnap and murder every second of your free time—Ifilm.com and AtomFilms.com. The former advertises itself as possessing the “world’s largest collection of short films and movie clips available to watch online” and the latter is semi-serious, chock full of truncated pieces of cinematic glory.
Ifilm is by far the more comprehensive, offering hundreds of movie teasers, trailers, commercials and video clips. The site’s most original offering is its “First 8 Minutes” series, allowing users to watch the opening 7:59 of recent independent films. Currently on tap are El Crimen Del Padre Amaro, Y Tu Mama Tambien and Donnie Darko. There is much more, however, and the best way to convey the sheer breadth and depth of variety that these two sites offer is a list of the choicest picks. Enjoy.
Vin Diesel, Breakdancing!, www.ifilm.com—In a short clip from what seems to be an instructional video, Vin spins and flips in slow motion while donning, no lie, a slight Afro, a turquoise headband and a Sopranos-style tracksuit. Watching this generation’s Jimmy Stewart flop like a dying fish under his partner’s outstretched legs, one realizes that movie stars just ain’t what they used to be.
Outpost.com’s banned ads, www.ifilm.com—You might recall seeing these a while back. This dot-com aired some very funny, very sick advertisements. Highlights include the one where the ravenous pack of wolves is released into the midst of a marching band (Drumline meets Kevin Costner), the one where a beefy, balding illustrated man tattoos the company’s logo onto the foreheads of crying babies, and the one where gerbils are shot out of a cannon into a brick wall. These are wrong on so many levels, but in the confines of your own room, they seem just a tiny bit right.
Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, wwwifilm.com-Conan O’Brien is a god and Triumph is his avatar. The only entertaining portion of the MTV Music Awards was the tense exchange between Eminem and this caustic puppet, so how appropriate it is that Triumph to have his own section on Ifilm. In the finest of the lot, Triumph brings his world-weary soul to planet Earth’s largest elderly woman convention-the Westminster Dog Show. Here, he humps and is humped in return. As far as tiny thrusting rottweilers with stereotypical Hispanic accents go, Triumph is tops in our book.
Experimental Cartoons, www.atomfilm.com—Imagine watching Mexican Day of the Dead statues kicking a soccer ball around and you might come close to some of the stuff on here. Marionettes bend it like Beckham and riot harder than an English hooligan. (https://romantichoneymoonisland.com/) At any rate, these animations are much better fare than the Ukranian national team on Hoyanet.
The one drawback with these sites is the copious amount of annoying advertisements that must be watched before every video. After only ten viewings of The Recruit commercial, for example, one can accurately pinpoint the mole halfway down the left side of Colin Farrell’s face. Move past these shortcomings, though, and there is a wealth of entertaining short films to be perused.
No claims for great social significance can be made on behalf of Ifilm and Atomfilms, as they appear to be a clearinghouse for all of the humorous videos that accompany e-mail forwards. At worst, they offer disturbing glimpses into present-day society. At best, they do the same. Browse the erotica showcase , watch the President pick his nose or revel in the creative genius of every person with a digital camera and a dream. Just don’t do your homework.
