Football is the quintessential American sport. It makes sense, then, that the Capitol would be the backdrop for the NFL-America rally that took place last Thursday evening on the National Mall. Billed on the website as a “football and music festival to kick off the season and to celebrate the resilient and indomitable spirit of America,” members of the armed forces took the stage accompanied by Good Charlotte, Mary J. Blige, Britney Spears, Aerosmith and Aretha Franklin.
The diversity of the attendees at the rally/concert reflected that of the musicians. The 130,000-person crowd proved to be a slice of America. From the group of man-capri-clad Swedes, to the pseudo-punk kid with pant legs the width of the stage, to the middle-aged couples hovering at the back, diversity was the theme. There was the middle-aged mother rocking out to Mary J. while her elementary-aged son sat on the ground beside her, about to cry with embarrassment.
Most popular (and irritating) were the Britney Spears girls with pink ribbons in their hair matching the pink shirts they’d adorned with “BRITNEY!!!” in purple puff paint.
With Bob Hope gone, Britney was his logical replacement. Everyone tromping through the mud had a reason to do so, whether it was to idolize a misplaced role model or take part in something stereotypically ‘American.’
Part of Operation Tribute to Freedom, a celebration for the troops returning from Iraq, this “concert” was free of cost. But the massive expenses of the event were explained by the sheer amount of advertising on the muddy mall. Bombarded with propaganda at every turn, there was no escaping the rah-rah America attitude or the NFL and Pepsi Vanilla commercials.
Each artist occupied the stage for an average of fifteen minutes, but the speakers never rested, as a barrage of advertising occupied every second of the twenty-minute breaks between performers. “Take pride in America” ads, Dubya’s newest exercise in patriotism, were rampant but hard to take seriously, as the voice was Mr. Moviefone himself. The event was less of a celebration of football and more of a takepride.gov kickoff party.
Good Charlotte played only two songs and Mary J. Blige did a medley of her most popular singles. Britney was introduced by a male officer giddy from the hug she’d given him moments before. She debuted her new single on Thursday night, “Me Against the Music.” Never has a song been so aptly named: Britney’s near-nudity barely distracted from her inept lip syncing. It was most definitely Britney against the music, and Britney clearly won. For a family event, her stripping antics could have amounted to what could barely be described as a PG-13 performance.
Steven Tyler wore twice the amount of makeup that Britney did, and his pants were tighter than the slacks she stripped. Aerosmith played three songs, pen lights were handed out, and the front half of the crowd was directed to wave them to the beat of the final chorus of “Dream On.” When Tyler impressively hit all of the notes, the crowd threw their lights in the air with enthusiasm. All of the stadium lighting turned off to emphasize tiny lights rippling in unison to the beat of Tyler’s voice. (Diazepam)
What celebration of America would be complete without the odd details of Thursday’s NFL kickoff? After tromping through manure-scented mud under a vibrant sunset, seeing Coors Light commercials and finding no beer for sale, watching Britney gyrate and strip to mere hot pants, and looking up at rockets glaring red in the sky, America’s bizarre juxtapositions were perfectly clear.
