From Atkins to South Beach, there’s a diet out there for just about everyone. While most popular diets help you lose weight by controlling caloric intake and portion size, diet programs of the past took a much more effective approach: make the food so unappealing that you literally can’t eat it.
The site, which claims it is not “affiliated with Weight Watchers International, Inc., whose present-day recipes are very nice and do not look like ass at all,” exhibits a collection of Weight Watchers recipe cards from 1974. While the original disco-era dietician responsible for these monstrosities may not have been clued in, the website reviewer clearly got the memo-this stuff is disgusting.
Take for example, the “Slender Quenchers,” the only liquid item on the menu. Confirming the suspicion that a meal must consist of more than just a glass of transparent liquid, the reviewer boasts that these are the “saddest diet beverages ever.” But you got options: if the skim milk and orange pulp doesn’t appeal to you, feel free to grab the water and sherry extract combo, complete with two beef bouillon cubes. And if you were good today, feel free to stick a half a stalk of celery in to use as a straw.
Think you deserve some hard food? Check out the Roast Chicken-Italian Style, which the website review likens to “discovering what the movie Carrie would have been like if it had been cast with chickens instead of people, and also possibly entirely reconceived as a porno.”
If you don’t like to mix your chicken and porn, try the Snappy Mackerel Casserole. For this dish, the presentation says it all. The dish is attractively pictured on the menu card on top of a coil of rope and surrounded with three glasses of cranberry juice to wash the lingering taste of foot out of your mouth. The site claims that it is so “snappy they’ve placed it in a special roped-off area!” And don’t forget, “don’t get too close to the casserole because it’ll SNAP at ya! Ha! Ha! SNAPPY!”
Check out these calorie-conscious items and the rest of the menu at http://www.candyboots.com/wwcards.html.
