Are you too lamenting the death of great musicians like Johnny Cash and, all too recently, Elliot Smith? Well, fiend, you are clearly on track to be smited by the Almighty. At least, that is what www.av1611.org/rockdead.html will tell you.
We discovered this amazing web-site while searching the unfathomable depths of Google for “rock star suicide.” The results exceeded our greatest expectations; this accumulation of Biblical quotes and data concerning rock star’s premature deaths gets better with every viewing.
The folks at “Dial-the-Truth Ministries” have really mastered their art. A charming black and red reminiscent-of-damnation color scheme accompanies their ever-convincing factoids.The average rock star lonely gets to 36.9 years old, while the average American lives to be 75.8. And should you ever doubt their legitimacy, these facts are from page 973 of the 1997 World Almanac and Book of Facts. Friendly and responsible!
The biggest killer was heart attacks (forty-two of the deaths), which is shocking considering their low frequency within the average sinning population. These men and women were clearly selected by God to exemplify the results of being morally reprehensible.
To ensure that they reach all generations who might be misled by these music and debauchery-inclined characters, “Dial the Truth Ministries”includes deaths from 1954 to 2001. The Temptations, Village People, Beatles—they’re all there.
These guardians of righteousness obviously need to update, so as to include Cash, Zevon, and Smith. This recent group of deaths clearly merits their attention. Elliot Smith chose quite possibly the most awful method of suicide, one stab to the chest, whereas Kurt Cobain had a quick bullet and Nick Drake took antidepressants and died in his sleep.
What their propaganda really lacks is a comparative analysis of the means of death. Perhaps a flow chart? How does the murder of Sam Cooke compare to the murder of Marvin Gaye? Or, to delve into Dante’s TK level, what is its relation Kurt Cobain’s suicide?
I’d also like a clarification of terms. We all know Chet Baker fell out of a window in 1988, but was this actual defenestration?
What they lack in these areas, they make up for in their use of Caps Lock. The opening quote highlights that “fear of the LORD prolongeth thy days,” while the closing reiterates that “they DIE in youth, and their life is among the unclean.”Fortunately for us, at the bottom of this insightful web-site “Dial-the-Truth” gives us the option to “choose life” or “choose death.” I won’t be a spoiler as to where the latter leads you, but I’m sure if you listen to enough Nirvana, you already know.
