Museum that

Even though it contains both my first and last names, the Smithsonian Institute and the fleet of museums that bear its name just don’t cut it anymore.

Museum of Natural History, spare us the giant squid, please-not interested. And the Hope Diamond? How very Home Shopping Network of you. As for the Air and Space Museum, keep your lunar exploration vehicles to yourself. Upon visiting any Smithsonian, one gets the feeling that the same stale exhibits have been on display since that requisite trip taken to D.C. in fifth grade.

Venture to the other side of the Potomac for some refreshing (albeit puzzling) alternatives to the tired, run-of-the-Mall museums of the District.

Old Town Alexandria is more than just a depository of colonial kitsch-the American Academy of Otolaryngology also finds a welcoming home here. The halls of the John Q. Adams Center for the History of Otolaryngology are a playground for Ear, Nose and Throat doctors (ENTs) and confused tourists alike. The exhibits boast darling titles like “Hearing Aids Through the Ages”or “Tracheotomy: The Last Resort?”

The archives chronicle the “art” of otolaryngology from 1600 onwards, boasting many “photographs of people and places.” People and places-something tells me you’re a fan too. All in all, the perfect place to impress that special ENT in your life.

The Drug Enforcement Administration has also jumped on the open-a-museum-with-limited-appeal bandwagon, with its new location across from Pentagon City Mall. The DEA website espouses a commitment to providing the public with “factual, unbiased information,” but quickly deviates from this goal.

The “kids” portion of the site, while trying so hard to be hip and multiethnic, spends most of its time demonizing marijuana. It then glosses over the dangers of heroin, for which they list “apathy” as a dangerous side effect.

The most inexplicable item on display is Uday Hussein’s “tool of terror,” a gilt Saudi-purchased Smith & Wesson handgun. With this weapon, “Uday Hussein … terrorized and killed more than one Iraqi.”

Maybe the DEA’s encroachment onto what is clearly the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms’s territory will inspire the ATF and other beloved government agencies to explore their inner curators.

The John Q. Adams Center for the History of Otolaryngology is located at 1 Prince St., Alexandria, Va. The DEA Museum is located at 700 Army Navy Drive in Arlington, Va.