Attention all males! Only 150 days, 3 hours, and 29 seconds ‘til the Olsen twins are legal! Since this changes very little for the majority of your sex lives, I’d like to make a proposition: stop coveting the bodies of small children and look at yourselves! Fantasizing about legally unattainable girls is preventing you from any hope you ever had for a real relationship.
With sexual icons such as Hillary Duff and the Olsen twins, perfectly normal people are coveting the visual pleasures of adolescents. I have a 20 year old, male friend who felt guilty attending the “The Lizzie McGuire Movie” with me because he thought he’d be arrested. Paranoid and borderline pedophilic, he actually makes time to watch the Lizzie McGuire show. Also sickening are the hundreds of Olsen Twin 18th Birthday Countdown web pages. “I’m going to have mixed emotions when the twins turn 18 as this site will be rendered moot. However, I know some ambitious photographer will snap some scandalous pics of them once it’s legal,” reads one.
On a more severe note, pedophilia seems to be a more prominent disease in our society as more children graze the covers of People magazine. Recently. a music teacher in Florida was arrested for having a relationship with her 12 year old student (who was 11 at their initial encounter). Mary Kay Letourneau of Des Moines, Washington, was imprisoned in 1997 for having a sexual relationship with her 14 year old student, and then having his baby. After her sentence was completed, she was found back in the arms of her adolescent lover and thrown behind bars once again.
As a result of this “robbing the cradle syndrome,” the children who should be baking cookies with their mothers, and trading baseball cards are maturing too fast. Children such as Hillary Duff who are in the public eye are forced to keep up with much older competitors like Britney Spears by dying their eyebrows blonde and showing inappropriate skin. Her recent relationship with Aaron Carter can be found all over the internet and People magazine, along with the relationships of Lindsay Lohan and the Olsen twins. With this kind of pressure, what teenager wouldn’t sex up her image and her life?
Banking on the fact that most of you aren’t future sexual offenders, fantasy is all your obsessions will ever amount to. And while you aren’t a danger to small children as a whole, you are isolating yourself from reality. Wake up, and fantasize about the legal, attainable girls here at Georgetown.
