James brown is a machine alright-a beating machine, that is. Recently, he was arrested for throwing his defenseless fourth wife on the ground and holding an iron chair over her head. This is no shock however, as it is his third domestic violence offense (which means one poor woman got out scot-free), not to mention his many drug abuse charges, one of which earned him two and a half years in prison. How, you ask, does the Godfather of Soul get away with such horrible press and still maintain some dignity? Its all about the funk, and the turkey.
When asked his formula for success, Brown once replied, “Do your hair in different styles, make people notice.” Indeed, we noticed when Brown rolled into his mug shot with an electric socket-afro, not to mention his electric green bathrobe. His lawyer, Jim Huff said, “Mr. Brown had been at home without power for three days. No baths. So yes, he looked less than what he usually does.” I say role with it, James. Women love, stinky, Neanderthal looking men with big hair and a whole lotta rhythm.
Indeed, my uncle, an avid Brown fan back in the day, attended a concert in Birmingham, Ala., where one borderline obese woman got so excited that she failed to notice that the safety pin holding together her hot pink polyester pants had popped off. Overcome by the funk in the air, she continued to jiggle her moneymaker through the aisles of the concert hall in nothing but her underwear.
James has avid male supporters as well, including presidential candidate Al Sharpton who was Brown’s substitute at the Augusta, Georgia’s annual turkey giveaway. Sharpton said, “James is like my father…he never forgot the days when he didn’t have a turkey.”
Brown’s music has influenced generations of Americans, from his songs from the ‘60s that embraced brotherhood in restless communities to his latest song entitled “Killing’s out and Schools in,” a ballad written to help prevent violence in schools. Brown said, “We need to protect kids by giving them something to do … It’s about making them interested, making them love mom and dad more, love the family more, love themselves more … so there won’t have to be killing in school.”
In addition to drugs and chronic wife-abuse, Brown led police on a car chase in the late ‘80s, threatening people with a shotgun. They were not his schoolmates.
Last month, President Bush honored Brown at the Kennedy Center as one of the most influential musicians of the past 50 years. If you want to hear some great funk music, or if you have a penchant for old, overweight women in their underwear-get up offa that thang and check out Brown at the 9:30 Club this Wednesday, March 3.
The 9:30 Club is located at 815 V St. N.W.
