I had no choice. By the end of our five fabulous days of Hurricane Isabelle last year, New South’s vending machine was nearly empty. Only two items remained: Twinkies and Twizzlers. Raised in a household of health nut vegans, I was about as likely to wolf down a Twinkie as snack on beef jerky. But, drunk on my newfound collegiate independence, I boldly pressed the cake’s combination. After all, what did I have to lose? Other than my health and girlish figure, that is.
Thus began my love affair with the delectable, cream-filled sponge cake known as the Hostess Twinkie. If I’ve learned nothing else since, it is that I am not alone. Able to survive a nuclear holocaust, the Twinkie’s 20 year shelf life makes it the perfect dorm food.
Naysayers may point out the less than enviable nutritional value of my beloved snack cake, and they’re right. What could possibly be less healthy than the basic Twinkie? Answer: a pimped out Twinkie! Yes, it seems that two sticks of saturated fat, sugar and chemicals just aren’t delicious enough for some people.
Called the “Holy Grail” of snack cakes by some, the Chocodile, a chocolate-covered Twinkie, is a rare and sought after treat. Chocodiles are only available on the West Coast but can be bought on eBay. Fans describe their taste in one word: happiness.
“They are even packaged individually, not in pairs like Twinkies, because they are so full of calories, sugar and whatever else is in Twinkies,” long time Chocodile lover Chris Kellen (SFS ‘06) explained. “Its like fat-Elvis was given creative control at Hostess and made the most unhealthy food product ever!”
Coating a Twinkie in chocolate? I think fat-Elvis could do better than that. Like, say, a deep-fried Twinkie. It was actually the ChipShop, a fish ‘n chip shop in Brooklyn, that created this double battered, deep-fried delight. The frying process crispens the outside while melting the creamy center, turning your average Twinkie into a greasy, oozing mouthful of scrumptiousness. Sadly, it also increases a single Twinkie’s caloric count from 150 to a whopping 425. Eat that, fat-Elvis!
The Deep-Fried Twinkie:
-Freeze 6 Twinkies, stuck on popsicle sticks
-Preheat 4 cups vegetable oil to 375 F
-Mix 2 cups flour, 1 cup milk, 2 tbsp vinegar, 1 tbsp oil, 1 tsp baking powder and 2 tsp salt in a mixing bowl
-Dust Twinkies with flour and coat evenly in batter
-Drop Twinkies carefully into hot oil, one at a time, turning to ensure even browning. Remove after 2-3 minutes, when golden.
-Remove, allow to sit for 5 minutes and say goodbye to your carotid artery
