The Serm’s got a fever and the only prescription is … more basketball. So, the Hoyas aren’t playing in the big dance, but that shouldn’t stop you from enjoying the rest of the proceedings. There’s lots of money to be made, or lost, but luckily you’ve got a trump card in your deck. What, Eric Trump made all of your picks? Okay, he’s good, but the Serm has a catchy nickname and campuswide circulation. That’s campus-wide, baby, which means you’re getting some pretty insider stuff. Or, you could check ESPN Insider; they usually rip off all their best material from the Serm. Without further ado, feast your eyes on the Serm’s guide to opening weekend.
Syracuse Regional
1st Round Upset: New Mexico.
Unless you’re a hoops junkie, you probably missed New Mexico beating Utah for the Mountain West title at three in the morning. What you would have seen was a team that has won 12 of their last 13 games, including two wins over Utah and Andrew Bogut, Australia’s best-export since Kylie Minogue.
If The Shoe Fits: New Mexico
If they can somehow beat Villanova, they’ll likely meet the orange-hot Florida Gators. Would you trust a team with five white guys in headbands running around like they’re shooting an episode of Queer Eye?
Likely Winner: Connecticut
I like Connecticut because I hate UNC. Or rather, I hate Roy Williams. No coach has killed more brackets with his overrated Kansas squads than Williams, who has nearly as many Final Fours (4) as second-round exits (5).
Shoot Me When: UNC meets Kansas in the Elite Eight.
Chicago
1st Round Upset: Alabama-Birmingham
Last year’s Sweet 16 team should give LSU fits with Nolan Richardson’s “40 Minutes of Hell” scheme. Plus, the last time LSU was good, Shaquille O’Neal was just some tall freak from the Bayou.
If The Shoe Fits: St. Mary’s
Sure it would be nice to write SO ILL in for the Sweet 16, but St. Mary’s looks to be, well, Southern Illinois from two years ago.
Likely Winner: Illinois
There really isn’t a better team in the country right now, so stop talking about their fluke loss to Ohio State.
Albuquerque
If The Shoe Fits: Pacific
An excellent perimeter-shooting team, Pacific should be able to neutralize Pitt’s inside presence.
Likely Winner: Wake Forest
With Chris Paul returning from suspension, Wake is ready to make a run in the weakest bracket.
Don’t Count Out: Gonzaga
This team has to make a Final Four at some point, and this just could be the year with Adam ‘Jim, Van, Toni’ Morrison.
Austin
1st Round Upset: Vermont
Vermont is making its third consecutive NCAA appearance, and seems vastly underseeded. Taylor Coppenrath may be the best player you’ve never heard of , and he just may have the Catamounts higher than ever in Burlington.
If The Shoe Fits: Iowa
Nice cushy game against perennial-choker Cincinnati should have the Hawkeyes facing Kentucky. This is clearly a different team without Pierre Pierce, but does anyone think Kentucky is that good?
Likely Winner: Duke
It’s tough to bet against a team with J.J. Redick. He might be the next coming of Basketball Jesus.
Don’t Count Out:: Syracuse (Yeah, we know, this is one ugly bracket).
