Early in the film Elizabethtown one character says: “As someone once said, there’s a difference between a failure and a fiasco.” Whatever that difference may be, this movie has to fit into one of those categories. Those lured in by director Cameron Crowe will not find an ounce of originality in this mediocre Garden State imitation.
Meet Drew Baylor (Orlando Bloom): a suicidal shoe designer whose failed creation eventually becomes the death of both his corporation and his job for unknown reasons. As the family representative for his suddenly deceased father, he travels back to Elizabethtown, Kentucky where he encounters nauseatingly spunky flight attendant Claire Colburn (Kirsten Dunst). As they reunite and fall in love in Kentucky among Drew’s estranged relatives, Drew struggles with his identity, integrity and the meaning of his father’s death. The film finishes dead last in believability and common sense. It makes no sense that small-town Kentuckians (let alone anyone else in the world) would be all abuzz over Drew’s professional failures as a shoe designer.
Throughout the entire movie the viewer must repeatedly ask themselves why they should care. In its cut-and-paste format, the hole-ridden plot is devoid of character development and explanation of relationships. Yet Crowe still has the gall to aspire to philosophical weight with ever-so-trite ruminations about life and death. The highly publicized scene of Drew and Claire chatting on their cell phones consists of thoughtful gems such as, “Men see things in a box-women see things in a round room” or, “Do you ever think you’re just fooling everyone?” Better yet, do you ever just speak in platitudes?
Beyond the forced American accent in Bloom’s narration and Dunst’s fading Southern drawl, one encounters another obstacle in what passes here for acting. However aesthetically pleasing Orlando Bloom might be, his expressions play out like a series of ready-made theatrical masks: his bewildered face, his fascinated face and his irritating blank stare that can either represent deep thought or sadness, depending on the context. Even Susan Sarandon’s performance as Drew’s mother, Hollie, cannot resuscitate this boring, comatose film.
Copying from the successful musical blueprint of his film Almost Famous, Crowe sticks with the same smartly chosen compilation of classic rock, country, blues and indie pop. While the soundtrack is the film’s saving grace, it ends up doing most of the film’s work. Music is often blared over dialogue as a substitute for the plot, and it is cheaply used in cheesy montages that skip through somewhat significant scenes. The soundtrack’s intensity peaks as Drew takes a road trip through the South, only to be ruined by Claire’s nagging voice-overs and yet another horrendous half-hour. One can only hope that Elizabethtown is the last of Cameron Crowe’s failures.
