The approach is tough, because timing means so much. Too soon is awkward; too late, offensive. Deciding how to carry yourself before hitting that red zone is also essential: do you look away? Smile? Pretend you never saw?
These are only the warm-up stretches in the dance of passing acquaintances. Showtime means deciding how you’re going to handle the moment, and you’re not without a full arsenal. There’s the smile, the smile and wave, the “hey,” the “how ya doin’” as a question, the “how ya doin” not as a question, the single upward nod, the salute and, of course, the mouthed “hey,” because saying it aloud would be too much. There’s also the straight-up ignore and the mumbled “hmbb” at someone you really didn’t want to see or don’t know how to approach. The Cadillac of these passing moments is of course the stop-and-talk, doubly so if it involves a change of direction. Fortunately, the stop-and-talk is relatively common—people just have a natural tendency to share.
A relatively new response, however, is quickly becoming one of the most common: the half-hearted, silent smile and hello while wearing an iPod. Sometimes this leads to the slow pull-off of the headphones for more conversation, but usually it stifles communication before it even starts.
Most people probably view listening to their iPod as a way to travel without getting bored. To put it on for the ten-minute-at-most walk from your dorm to class, however, is to implicitly make the value judgment that music is more important than other people.
That is not to say the iPod is causing the moral and social decay of Western society. After all, every advance in communications technology since the messenger has strengthened the ability to speak with people far away without ever having to actually see them. Generally, however, these changes have simultaneously brought people closer together at lesser expense; while having phones means you no longer have to speak with someone in person, it also means you can speak with someone you previously couldn’t.
The new iPod trend replaces communication with noncommunication. The small talk that was previously essential to navigating a day is summarily cut off, replaced by a forced acceptance of the fact that you’re just not going to be sociable. It takes the stigma out of an action that would otherwise make someone a jerk, and places a wedge between people when so much is now made of the world’s “interconnectedness.” Are we now losing out on the particulars for staring so long at this big picture?
Perhaps the real problem is that the iPod acts as a sort of filter, stopping all communication that is nonessential. The potential results are disastrous. Fox News tries the same thing in its broadcasting, skipping even verbs (especially the essential “be” verbs) in a quest to throw as much information out as possible: “President Bush in danger!” Want to see a movie? “Homework unfinished.” Can’t get by? “In my way.” Sure, it’s hyperbolic, but is this the path we want to follow?
At any rate, a walk across campus isn’t a long bus ride, and there is no reason to concentrate particularly hard on anything. It’s a few minutes where the chance you will see someone you know, probably even people you don’t see every day, is pretty high. These are exactly the moments when we shouldn’t be building barriers, where just a word or two does make a difference and are not so hard to spare. We can isolate ourselves at home, not in public.
I just want someone to talk with. .me.
