This Asian doesn’t have an accent

I wish I had a Korean accent. Not to get women, because that takes a European accent. Besides, if I really did have a Korean accent, the last thing I would be is attractive. Have you ever seen someone from mainland Korea order a ham-bag-gah at McDonald’s? Not so attractive.

I don’t want a Korean accent to return to my Korean roots, as I don’t like a lot of aspects of my culture. People yell in restaurants to order, Koreans have to marry Koreans or they’ll be banned from the household, parents force their poor kids to go to medical school whether they like it or not, etc. A lot of these might seem like stereotypes, but a lot of it is what I see when I observe my people. I definitely don’t want an accent so people will feel sorry for me and help me, as I pride myself on my independence. I want an accent solely because it is too hard to become famous without one.

I have a firm belief that there are no famous Asian people in America that don’t embrace the Asian stereotype and associated accent. If anybody were to do a popularity poll with Academy Award winning director Ang Lee and American Idol singer William Hung, Hung would probably (sadly) win the contest. Do you remember the last time a movie had Asian people as real characters, not Asian stereotypes or knife-throwing samurai or flying martial arts masters?

The entertainment industry has exploited Asian people for their accents and their interesting customs to make people laugh. It seems to comfort people into thinking subconsciously that Asian people can’t rise to power because they can’t even pronounce the “r” in power. It’s only the Asians with accents who seem to be making money in blockbuster films such as Rush Hour or Cradle 2 The Grave.

Asian people are partly responsible for this portrayal. The Asians who present themselves as stereotypes are exploiting their people in a simple, predictable way. Not every Asian has bad grammar and an accent. People make a lot of money pretending to be that Asian, such as the Korean from the Lost television series who had to learn Korean for the show. Even films such as Crash and Do The Right Thing, which pride themselves in exposing modern day racism, are racist toward Asians by depicting them in a stereotypical manner. Think about it. The first thing you see in Crash is a Chinese lady yelling with a thick accent at a white lady for a car crash she caused.

This is all disheartening to me as an aspiring filmmaker with an afro, a passion for art and no accent. I want to make films about human struggles love, crime, mystery, and passion, not martial arts trash or patronizing Asian struggle stories. I want to become famous for art, not for being that Korean kid with a 2400 on his SATs or for being that Korean doctor who “cloned” a dog.

So yes, I wish I had an accent. If I did I wouldn’t worry about having to prove myself, I wouldn’t need to push myself to be better. If I had an accent, I’d soon be hired to sell you ramen on TV or to kill someone with a crouching tiger technique. If I had an accent I wouldn’t be working so hard.