There is something amazing about Deb Hagan’s late summer comedy, College: the fact that such an unoriginal theme was combined with a practically plagiarized story to produce a movie that has earned only a little over two and a half million dollars.
College is as generic as its title. Rookie writers Dan Callahan and Adam Ellison offer a script that pays homage to some of the greatest fraternity epics of all time, reaching out to viewers who can appreciate lines like, “Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!”
The film recycles themes and jokes from movies dating back to Animal House (1978), the genre’s unrivaled flagship, but it owes even more to Superbad’s depiction of pre-college debauchery.
College’s protagonists are three college-bound high school seniors. Kevin (an unconvincing Drake Bell), spends a weekend at a local college with his two best friends after his girlfriend breaks up with him to free up time for partying. Kevin’s sidekicks are Carter (Andrew Caldwell), an insecure and pugnacious oaf, and a nerdy, squeamish boy with glasses named McLov—I mean, Morris.
If, by some inexplicable coincidence, the filmmakers were attempting to create a sincere story about three hormonal teenagers and not just rip off Superbad, they utterly failed.
Through a series of misadventures, the boys end up as makeshift pledges for a troubled fraternity being subjected to a parade of cruel, homoerotic hazing rituals.
Hagan’s approach to shooting parties is one of the film’s few achievements. The scenes jump rapidly back and forth between the exploits of the three major characters, and while the content is highly unrealistic, the frantic tempo is right on. The camera creates a spinning sensation that causes viewers to feel as if they just spent the night out as well.
By the end of the movie, the viewer, much like the three heroes, is sick of College. The film has two redeeming qualities: Verne Troyer (Mini-Me from Austin Powers) makes a memorable cameo appearance, and the running time is less than 95 minutes.
But, these triumphs are not enough to make College a film you would want your worst enemy to suffer through.
As Carter exclaims shortly after the plot’s climax, “College blows!”
