Shoes have really been irking me lately. In my last column, I directed my grievances at the frumpy footwear of D.C.’s young women, but this week, I’m moving on to the nation at large. While my quibble is with the manufacturers of runaway shoe trends, the real issue is with our nation’s tendency to eat up horrible spin-offs of brand-name shoes that were not so great to begin with.
The trajectory that shoes like Uggs and Crocs have hurtled along perfectly illustrates that even though the original models were decidedly unattractive, shoe manufacturers will not let horrifying aesthetics dissuade them from pumping out ridiculous spin-offs. While this is America, and such behavior is to be expected on the part of greedy corporations, what hurts the most is that the public lets them get away with it.
Our nation’s taste is so bad that the otherwise-wonderful online shoe store Piperlime.com has over 40 styles of Crocs for women alone (there are even more for children), and their popularity does not seem to be flagging. I regularly get promotional emails from the site that trumpet the recent arrival of even more hideous chunks of rubber (excuse me, “Croslite”)—but now with a cute wedge heel!
But I think the most mysterious spawn of Crocs is the fleece-lined plastic clog. I was under the impression that the main perk of Crocs is that they can get wet and muddy and dirty, but can then easily be wiped or rinsed off, making them perfect for children and gardeners. While adding fleece might make them more comfortable, all that fluff just begs for dirt that won’t come out.
On the topic of fuzzy lining, I should point out that I used to see the appeal in Uggs. No one can dispute their warm, cozy embrace, and although they are a weird, unflattering shape, the muted shades of tan that they came in were entirely unassuming. Now, however, despite the fact that their heyday is long gone, you can walk into any Nordstrom in the country and buy yourself a pair of Ugg flip-flops. Espadrilles, too. Ugg slippers I can understand and get behind, but shearling-lined flip-flops? Really?
These styles have also started to crossbreed. The first Crocs you come upon after searching for them on Piperlime look remarkably like, you guessed it, Uggs! A fleecy, suede-like upper joins a “Croslite” base to create the foulest piece of foul-weather footwear I’ve ever seen.
What conclusions can we draw from these trends in American shoe consumption? Maybe bad taste isn’t confined to the District.
Poke Croc holes in Katherine’s argument at kln7@georgetown.edu.
