Cracked hands, cracked leaves, and now a cracked economy; this autumn is off to a particularly rough start. Add to that the stresses of midterms and a mysterious viral outbreak, and one will come to the rapid conclusion that most Georgetown students could use a little liquid relief—and I ain’t talking about Pepto Bismol. While revenge and fruit salad should be served cold year-round, fall is the perfect season to sample some piping hot potables.
The Hot Toddy (no, it’s not named after Sarah Palin’s peculiarly foxy husband), a delicious whiskey-infused tea, should be first on any spirit taster’s list for cold weather consumption. Typically served in a mug and sweetened with honey and lemon, the Toddy should keep bedridden norovirus victims campus-wide comforted and calmed, and their caretakers none the wiser of their illicit fun. With a full, savory taste, the Hot Toddy is a sexed-up version of stodgy Earl Gray; think Saturday night fever meets Monday morning mundane, with a slight buzz to follow.
Hot as the Toddy may be, not all alcoholic beverages served in tea mugs were made equal in the eyes of the Lord. Take for instance buttered rum. Everyone likes butter, and thanks to Captain Morgan, rum has acquired a broad appeal outside the pirate realm, so the combination of the two would naturally lead one to assume that the resulting union will produce delightful results. If only. Buttered rum tastes like congenital heart disease and cirrhosis mixed together and warmed. Though the presence of brown sugar dissolved in hot water lessens the typically sharp aftertaste of rum, the butter’s presence in the libation is unpleasant and bizarre. Lard should, as a rule, be avoided in beverages at all costs; save the butter for your bread, baby.
Call me bold, call me brash, but if there is one hot adult beverage to try this season, it is mulled wine. You heard it here first: hot wine with spices is the new room temperature wine without spices. Comprised of red wine, sugar, lemon, cinnamon, and cloves, and allowed to stew over a low heat, this drink is sure to catch your fancy. With a heavenly smell, a beautiful red-garnet color, and a surprisingly divine cider-y taste, the concoction tastes like Christmas, and I’m not just talking about a low-key holiday in Poughkeepsie. I’m talking about Christmas in a medieval hunting lodge outfitted with heavy tapestries, dark wood, and portraits of purebred hounds. One almost feels as if they should be sipping mulled wine out of a heavy silver chalice while eating cured meats. It’s that good.
College is all about experimentation, friends. So, the next time someone offers you a Long Island or some exotic shot, just ask the bartender to serve it warm. After all, it’s chilly outside, and you won’t have to pay for three more just to feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside.
How hot is Todd Palin? Discuss at ckm26@georgetown.edu.
