In the age of man, few names stand out as true pillars of social progress. Socrates. Napoleon. Einstein. Men who grab history by the throat and—against all odds—wrestle it to submission. Hot, sweaty submission. Claude Jackal is one of those men.
You may ask yourself, “Who is Claude Jackal?” or “Why don’t I have a kickin’ name too?” or, more likely, “What’s that tingling feeling between my thighs?” While most don’t know Mr. Jackal, some may recognize him as actor Chris Lowell, of Private Practice and Veronica Mars fame. Others may remember the impromptu dance party he threw on 36th Street in front of the Tombs during last year’s Homecoming Weekend.
While Mr. Jackal would neither confirm nor deny that he attended Georgetown, he certainly spent enough time visiting friends on campus, including Jonathan de Olano ’07. Now, he returns to campus every Homecoming Weekend with friends to cause mischief and initiate dance parties. “Myself, the Four-Square King [de Olano] and the rest of the rascally pack of Jack Pups [Mr. Jackal’s associates] storm campus like the goddamned beaches of Normandy,” Mr. Jackal said. “We take no prisoners.”
Since August 29, Mr. Jackal has sporadically posted on the website thejackalisback.blogspot.com. The blog hints at his presence at Homecoming Weekend, promising, among other things, “A. FUCKING. PARTY.” and “a bantering motley crew of classless drunkards stumbling all over the place with a boom box.” His plan this weekend? “To start a Dance/Love Revolution.”
Mr. Jackal is nothing if not optimistic about Homecoming Weekend. His promises include the rebirth of Michael Jackson, a la the Thriller music video, the sweet sounds of a pregnant Christina Aguilera, and a massive party in a public, outdoor location to be revealed later this week. “Every song, poem, film, novel, or dream you’ve ever seen or conceived in a party format will come true and then some come Saturday night,” he guarantees.
“Imagine this Saturday, you’re bleached in the gleam of the setting sun. And you’re asking yourself all the big questions about life; you’re a little scared, you’re a little nervous, maybe you’re a little hung-over—because let’s be honest, you’ve probably been drinking all day. Either way you are walking along, when out of nowhere you hear the bass line of ‘Billie Jean’ filling your ears. It’s like a symphony of every single urge you’ve ever had being channeled at you. And out of nowhere tons of crazy kids come running through with boom boxes. You may not know anything about the future, but you’ll know one thing for certain: The Jackal is back.”
Godspeed, Mr. Jackal.
