It was a rainy Wednesday, and I felt lucky to stand under the awning of the Rock N Roll Hotel, staying as dry as I could. I was nervous because my contact, Raychel Sabath, one of the two founders of Crunkcakes, was out of the office. She did not pick up her phone when I called, and I was beginning to worry that I wouldn’t get what I had driven across town for.
Crunkcakes is a new baking venture started by Sabath and Faith Alice Sleeper. Sabath works in booking at the Rock N Roll Hotel, and Sleeper works at both the Hotel and Dangerously Delicious Pies, a nearby pie shop. While the District is saturated with stores offering cute little baked goods, the duo’s cupcakes offer a little extra: alcohol. A wide selection ranges from to The Dude (pound cake with Kahlua and vodka), Jimmy Buffet (key lime cake infused with Tequila and tequila buttercream) and PBR Cake—a munchy-monster made with, of course, Pabst Blue Ribbon.
Finally, a young lady carrying an umbrella and a small box walked towards me. It was Sabath. A wave of relief washed over me. She handed me a box of four cupcakes. Two Irish Car Bombs, two Dirty Pillows.
“So am I going to get drunk if I eat these?” I asked.
“You might,” she said. “It depends which ones you eat.”
I was interested to see what effect these would have on me when I ate them. Would I actually feel affected by the alcohol? I don’t even like cupcakes that much. After I graduate from Georgetown, I hope that I’ll never have to eat another cupcake again.
I hid the box under my coat to protect the cupcakes in the pouring rain. When I got to my car, I opened the box and discovered a thick scent of liquor. I closed the box and licked some frosting off my finger. They weren’t kidding. The frosting from the Irish Car Bomb tasted exactly like Bailey’s.
After I got home, I got the cupcakes out of the near-soaking box and bit into the Irish Car Bomb. The Bailey’s frosting on this cupcake is delicious. The only part I didn’t like was the slight sogginess of the Jameson at the bottom of the cupcake.
The Dirty Pillow, served in a giant condiment cup, came with its own spoon, which I used to eat the buttery whipped cream frosting. That, along with the cake soaked in Mount Gay rum, made for a very rich offering—maybe too rich. I will probably never latch onto the Dirty Pillow again in this lifetime.
Though alcoholic in content, I did not feel at all compromised by the Crunkcakes. I’m guessing that the cupcakes soaked up any buzz I could have gotten from them. I just felt kind of gross for eating two cupcakes.
Correction: The author was mistaken about one of the types of cupcakes he tasted. He had a Dirty Pillow, not a Buttery Nipple. Additionally, Faith Alice Sleeper works at the Rock N Roll Hotel and Dangerously Delicious Pies, not Pug. The article has been updated to reflect these changes.