During the course of our campaign, two questions have frequently arisen. The first: “Is your campaign real?” The answer is yes and we will be on the ballot. The second: “Are you guys just Trevor and Omika wearing masks so that you can get re-elected? Come on, Tromika, take those off! Guys, stop playin’ around!” The answer is a resounding no, so stop pulling on our skin. We are not Trevor and Omika in masks. Rather, we are just two devoted boys trying to make Georgetown a “Youtopia.”
Sure, we share many of the same ideas as Trevor and Omika. We will continue pushing for tiered access to benefits, which would allow for more student activities with individually suited funding structures. Yeah, we see addressing sexual assault as a top priority, and, of course, we seek to extend free speech policies to create a campus-wide free speech zone. However, none of that means that our faces are actually spray-painted cardboard and that one of us is a woman of Indian descent.
Since we announced our candidacy, countless individuals have approached us with thanks for what we’ve accomplished during our 2014-2015 term and have expressed enthusiasm for our upcoming re-election. “We can’t wait for you to navigate the upcoming 2017 campus plan and foster an environment where students are actively engaged in the process through the creation of a Master Planning Working Group composed of students and working in conjunction with various student organizations,” noted throngs of long-winded, adoring, and ultimately mistaken constituents. “We’re going to vote for you, because we believe in your ability to give us students a voice again!” Just to be clear, yes, we’re going to do all of that, but no, we’re not Trevor and Omika hiding in plain sight following extensive vocal cord surgery and height adjustments. People: we have not been working with Monsanto day in and day out to reconfigure our genetic makeup, because we’ve been too busy working for you as GUSA President and Vice-President. Wait, no. Forget we ever said that.
What do you mean we smell like Trevor and Omika? Oh, that’s probably just the smell of transparency through GUSA executive office hours, advocacy for Georgetown administrator office hours, and full voting status for the student representative on Georgetown’s Board of Directors. Listen, it has nothing to do with the fact that the Luther/Rohan ticket and the current GUSA executives have molecularly indistinguishable sweat and pheromones. We all just smell good, I guess.
Hey, you know what? Trevor and Omika aren’t too shabby. They have a lot more that they wish they could’ve gotten done, and I bet that they’ve learned a lot from their first terms in office. Hell, they’ve probably learned so much from their failures and successes that, if they were to run again, they would write a whole new platform with new ideas! It’s just too bad that they aren’t running again as two young men with a keen vision for this school and a logo featuring Darnall. Too bad.
Anyway, if you share our Youtopian vision, then please reele… sorry. “Elect” Joe and Connor for 2015 GUSA executives.