The Weekly List: The Best of Rihanna

Every single album Rihanna has ever put out has been absolute gold. She has not produced bad music yet, which is awe-inspiring because she’s been putting albums out since 2005. There is so much variety to her repertoire and she’s only failed like two or three times in total throughout her entire career. So please enjoy this list of the best of RiRi.

1. “Umbrella” feat. JAY Z — We are talking the ORIGINAL RiRi banger. The best thing about this song is that it’s not really played anymore, but when it comes on at a party nowadays everyone goes crazy and it’s like the last 10 years never happened and we’re all scream-singing and world peace exists.
2. “Break It Off” feat. Sean Paul — Let me tell you something; when I hear this song anywhere, any time, I have a religious experience. In those three minutes and 33 seconds, I am transported back to 2006 and God might be real (well not really but that’s just how Rihanna makes me feel).
3. “Unfaithful” — I mean when those violins come in you know you’re gonna start sobbing. This is pure, unfiltered Rihanna. She is truly in pain singing this song and I am in pain listening to her be in pain. “Higher,” off of her most recent album, has the same effect in its unbelievably beautiful and brutal honesty.
4. “Disturbia” — This song feels like it came out when Lady Gaga was at her height and the music of 2008 was in full swing. It is the middle school/Bar Mitzvah banger and brings back the fondest of memories. I’m now realizing that I love half of these songs for the warm nostalgia they bring me but isn’t that half the joy of music?
5. “Rude Boy” — Now for some ~sexy~ Rihanna. “Rude Boy” is the quintessential discover-your-sexuality-and-also-other-things-about-yourself song.
6. “S&M” — Now take “Rude Boy,” but ramp up the sexiness by a million. This is the opening song off of Loud (2010) which is the boldest move anyone has ever made. I’ve never really been to a club before but I imagine that this song is just playing over and over again and it’s really loud and people are yelling.
7. “What’s My Name” feat. Drake — If this song doesn’t convince you that Drake is the softest boi there ever was and that he and Rihanna should get married then nothing will.
8. “You Da One” — How did Rihanna manage to sing a simultaneous banger and ballad that makes you wanna dance and cry at the same time? I don’t know, she’s immortal.
9. “We Found Love” feat. Calvin Harris — This was THE song of summer 2011. Another one of those timeless classics/club hits that will never go bad. Unlike Rihanna, because, as she stated in the title of her 2008 album, she is a Good Girl Gone Bad.
10. Every song on ANTI: There is not one bad song on ANTI. I will stand by this for my entire life. That is all.