Over the past week, I have taken it upon myself to compile the strangest series of dreams I have experienced lately as part of a Dream Journal project for the Voice. Plenty of us have classic dreams reflecting our anxieties of saying something to the wrong person or not succeeding in our aspirations. But these dreams were different; it was as if my mind was trying to tell me something about myself and the world around me. Frankly, some of these are embarrassing to discuss. But, let’s dive in.
Dream 1: The nuclear power plant
I stood next to two friends, overlooking a pipe that led to an experimental nuclear power reactor. The pipe discharged coolant water, but there was something odd about the water. It glowed lightly in an aqua color and contained a fair amount of what my mind identified as Selenium and Scandium.
My two friends decided it would be fun to livestream themselves swimming up the pipe to our other friends. I proceeded to tell them that the water was going to give them “super cancer.” They waved me off, so I trailed to the side, walking along the maintenance walkway as they continued to wade through the glowing water. That is how the dream ended.
Reflecting on this dream, I turned to my good friend, Brendan, for help. He’s that one friend who’s read too much about Freud and Jung and likes to discuss it in any conversation he can.
In his mind, a prominent part of my dream is the desire to be correct. And who doesn’t want that? Some of us love learning, and others like validation for our experiences and knowledge. Both approaches are perfectly natural—we’re social animals, after all.
Pivoting to the content, he says that my being the observer makes it pretty clear that I’m reflecting the caregiver archetype, someone who values both the safety and autonomy of others. If someone chooses to do something dumb, the caregiver would let them do it and be prepared to help. Brendan points to the presence of the anima—the feminine aspect of the psyche that embodies creativity, empathy, and intuition—which he suggests might be more prominent in me than most of his other male friends.
For the record, having a stronger anima doesn’t necessarily mean I secretly want to be a woman. It just means my subconscious is a little better in touch with those associated qualities than some of my male peers.
Now, I’m not entirely sure how I feel about his observation. Am I offended? Am I flattered? Maybe a bit of both? For now, I’ll accept it without holding it as an absolute truth.
In any case, it’s probably why my eyes get a little damp during emotional scenes in books or movies. I’ll call being relatively more empathetic a “win” in my book and hope no one teases me about it.
Dream 2: Socials leaked
My parents accidentally exposed my carefully separated online life. And, in my dream, I am losing it, embarrassed to the fullest extent.
If you are reading this, Mom and Dad, yes, I have different personas online. No, you cannot follow my Twitter. I cannot say much else about the dream, as it was mostly just filled with stress from the initial moment of panic; as you can imagine, I woke up quite quickly after that.
A very obvious reading here suggests an intense fear of losing the distinction between my public and private identity—there are certain things that I’d much rather keep in an anonymous account. In my friend’s view, though, it’s a defense mechanism I use to protect myself from society’s scrutiny and shield my anima.
Unfortunately, he also concluded that I have some control tendencies—I fear that losing control of the boundaries of my private self might expose me to judgment that I don’t want in my ordinary life. So yes, I’m out in the open as a mild control freak.
Though, Brendan has assured me: “It’s not as bad as a lot of cases I’ve seen.”
Thanks.
Dream 3: Someone chased
The last dream was straight out of a horror movie. A woman is running away from a vampire in a long, winding hallway. Every once in a while, she has to push through security doors, slowing her down and allowing the vampire to gain ground. The dream ended before I could see what happened to the woman.
Now, a Jungian and a Freudian would have very different interpretations of this; but the former would be far less weird, as I wouldn’t have to analyze everything through the lens of sex. But let’s say the woman represents the anima, traditionally assigned the “feminine” role in Jungian psychoanalysis.
The vampire can be seen as a manifestation of societal norms and expectations—an oppressive and enduring force of nature that feeds on our individuality and autonomy, leaving many of us subdued and powerless to challenge it.
The security doors? It is likely the internal mental barriers that inadvertently restrict the anima. According to a Jungian, the very same aspects of wanting to assert control in my life might actually unintentionally limit my ability to grow and adapt. Suppose that’s good to know when my inner control freak gets the best of me.
Main takeaways:
Other than needing to get more sleep, this was a great exercise in seeing the creativity of the mind if you put yourself to it. Psychoanalytic theory shouldn’t be taken as gospel, but just like the casual MBTI test, it sometimes gives you valuable insights about yourself.
At least for me, it made me realize that the real me is neither the one I have online nor the one I have in person. For many of us, there’s a constant tension between our authentic selves and staying safe behind those carefully constructed walls. Maybe our dreams are trying to tell us something about ourselves; we just have to entertain them. So, maybe you should try keeping a dream journal yourself.
