There are two important bubbles at Georgetown: Georgetown Bubble, the student-run bubble tea pop-up that has become a staple at the beloved farmers market, and the “Georgetown bubble,” the metaphorical bubble that inhibits most Georgetown students from going any further than Wisconsin Avenue.
The editorial board demands a third bubble. We don’t propose a new metaphor nor more starchy, tapioca confections on campus. Our third bubble would be a mile high, six-foot thick glass bubble encompassing the relevant boundaries of the Georgetown neighborhood.
Design by Paul Kang
You may ask, “Why? Why cut ourselves off from the rest of the world?” That is a valid question, but consider this: Would you really even notice it? When was the last time you descended from the Hilltop and walked beyond Levain or Tatte? Unless you are among the upper echelon of over-achievers or one of the few overzealous Burleith dwellers, the answer could range from “months ago” to “never.”
Although the Georgetown bubble™ would largely go unnoticed following its construction, the editorial board recognizes that some members of the community may have concerns.
“Wouldn’t the construction be disruptive?”
To this, we echo the stance of the Georgetown administration on construction and say, “You’ll just have to deal with it.”
“Would there be any doors?”
Yes. One, made of the heaviest material Georgetown can find, of course. It will be right beyond Levain—students can’t miss out on their late-night $7 cookies. It would open at 8 a.m., leading to a direct tunnel to the federal area for Georgetown student interns to get to work. They’d have until 6 p.m. to get back in. The door is there for students to explore D.C. in the only way they can: by interning on K St. or The Hill. Jack the Bulldog will stand guard, and you have to pet him to pass.
“But how would tourists shop in the Georgetown area?”
Let’s be honest with ourselves. Wouldn’t Georgetown be better if every shop had to cater only to college students? Get rid of all the clothing and tech stores to instead just have restaurants and bars. Maybe we could shake things up and bring back all the local bars and nightlife.
“How would this even work from an ecological standpoint? Would there be wildlife?”
We don’t want to answer this question, so like the politicians we are all destined to become, we will stick to our talking points.
Just imagine how amazing the sound quality will be inside the bubble! Gone are the days of constant airplanes flying overhead—just imagine the peace and quiet.
And to the birds that get trapped in the bubble, they will be our locally-sourced symphony (and honestly, they’re all fake anyways, so who cares).
Today, the university has the opportunity to start another years-long, multi-million dollar project that will have no impact on its students whatsoever. We hope you consider our proposal to wall off the Georgetown neighborhood in glass. Let’s finally put an end to students bringing up the “Georgetown bubble” in class and complaining about their peers’ disconnection with D.C., even though the last time they left campus was to see the cherry blossoms or make a Trader Joe’s run.
We urge administrators to take our editorial board’s demands seriously, as they always have.
