Asteroid City: Down with the Pats
By Anna Cordova
As a Denver-born Broncos fan and a family-adjacent Los Angeles Rams fan, this Super Bowl matchup is simply the worst-case scenario. In a perfect world, an asteroid would hit the stadium so that the Broncos and Rams would be rushed in as emergency stand-ins. Instead, I’ll settle for this: the Seattle Seahawks dismantling whatever remains of the Patriots’ winning legacy.
On paper, this game looks even. Both teams finished the season at 14–3. That stat alone might trick you into thinking this is a battle equals. Don’t be fooled:it is not. The Patriots’ path to the Super Bowl was about as easy as an NFL schedule can be. They ran through the AFC North (arguably the weakest division in football), the NFC South (not much better), and a trio of non-divisional opponents that barely resembled professional teams–and that’s before you factor in that they lost to one of those three in Week 1.
Their playoff run didn’t help their case. New England faced a Chargers team with a postseason disappearing act in Justin Herbert, a Texans squad undone by interceptions, and a Bo Nix-less Broncos.
On the other hand, Seattle’s season borders on bizarre. Two years ago, the Seahawks were defined by Pete Carroll and DK Metcalf. Now? New coach, new quarterback, new system. And yet, they bulldozed their way through one of the league’s most competitive divisions. Seattle consistently beat playoff-caliber teams, thrived in high-pressure games, and developed one of the most balanced rosters in the NFL. Their versatile, high-level defense and rushing offense, led by Kenneth Walker II, doesn’t need to force hero ball.
That balance is why this game feels lopsided despite the teams’ records. If Seattle jumps out early—as they’ve done all postseason—the Patriots will be forced into a pass-heavy script. Drake Maye pressing, forcing throws, and unraveling in the first half feels likely. On the other side, Sam Darnold and Jaxon Smith-Njigba could realistically end up competing with each other for Super Bowl MVP, operating on a level separate from whatever New England is doing.
In the end, I don’t really care who wins. I want a Bad Bunny halftime performance for the ages. I want a trick play involving a surprise celebrity cameo–ideally a Cardi B QB (Qardi B? Quarti B?) completion. And if the Seahawks happen to stomp out the Patriots’ dynasty nostalgia along the way, I’ll consider it a win for football.
Hoping for a loss for AI
By Julia Maurer
While the Super Bowl is the biggest game of the season for the participating teams, they are not the only ones who have been training for success. The companies who bought advertising time know their commercials will be seen by most of the Super Bowl’s 127 million viewers. This year, just 30 seconds of ad time costs $8 million on average, with some companies even paying up to $10 million.
While the exorbitant cost of advertising is probably a commentary on capitalism in itself, the positive by-product is that Super Bowl ads are often funnier than regular season commercials and give you something to talk about until the next kick-off.
However, in 2025, the commercials shared a disappointing trait: it seemed that almost every other ad promoted artificial intelligence, or was made with it. For something as critical to the Super Bowl as commercials—composing over half of the Super Bowl’s program run time—the prominence of AI is a critical loss for human creativity.
While I know that the Seahawks will pull away with at least a 15 point win this year, I hope that AI takes even more of a drubbing and that we can go back to the quintessential Super Bowl ads that don’t turn people into AI seals.
Whoever wins, NY loses (again)
By Megan Geiger
The savviest New York football fan is a beach resort stakeholder because, by Week 14, both the Giant and Jet squads had nonrefundable tickets booked to Cancún. Taking that vacation might be a good idea, as this year’s Super Bowl matchup poses yet another nightmare scenario for the tri-state faithful.
Not only did Metlife’s duo extend their championship drought to a 15th straight year, but the Seahawk/Patriot meeting exposes the franchises’ greatest failings.
On one side, the New York fan is seething at the fact that the Patriots are already back in the Super Bowl after just a five-year hiatus. Three difficult seasons is apparently the sum total of karmic retribution for the nonstop New England gloating of the past two decades. While quite good at the losing-record part of rebuilds, New York front offices lag frustratingly far behind in terms of the winning-record portion.
On the other side, Sam Darnold’s Seattle success makes a complete mockery of the classic New York inability to build around a drafted quarterback. Darnold flailed with the Jets, but his last two winning seasons in Minnesota and Seattle point to New York being the problem.
No, it’s not possible for both teams to lose. One team will emerge victorious, but, as always, New York sports lose.
Bored and Bitter
By Aubrey Butterfield
I wish I could say I was excited for the Super Bowl. Unfortunately, as a Detroit Lions fan, my Septembers are filled with hope, and my Februarys are characterized by endless disappointment.
“This was our year!” I cry in agony for the third consecutive year. But alas, Detroit sports do what Detroit sports do: start strong and then Trump dance our way to failure.
This year’s championship is perhaps the one I’m least excited for. My favorite part of sports is watching the underdogs rise, and with two recent Lombardi winners competing, I just don’t feel the energy.
With that being said, I’m reluctantly rooting for a Seahawks win. Regardless of how much Patriots fans complain about their five-season drought (because it must be so hard to have watched your team win multiple times over as a young child), Seattle is as close to an underdog story as we’re gonna get. Twelve years out, aiming for their second win, and after a solid but sad end to the Mariners’ season, the city (and Voices editor Phoebe Nash (CAS ’28)) deserves a win.
But to be honest, I simply cannot handle the return of the Patriots dynasty immediately after winning freedom from Patrick Mahomes hell. So, to the NFL refs, I know you hate the Lions—but please, hate the Patriots more.
How Long Has Charlie Puth Been Going On?
By Vince Gude
From Diana Ross to Billy Joel, the performance of the national anthem before the Super Bowl has always brought in the biggest names in music. However, what captures the public’s attention the most is not the singer themself, but rather the time each musician takes to sing the anthem from start to finish.
This Super Bowl, Charlie Puth will be singing the National Anthem, which has sparked a timely debate. The longest national anthem sung at the Super Bowl was about 2 minutes and 36 seconds long by Alicia Keys, while the shortest national anthem sung at the Super Bowl was only 1 minute and 2 seconds long by Neil Diamond.
Due to Charlie Puth’s vocal range and consistent long pauses, I predict the length of the national anthem to take 2 minutes and 3 seconds.
My prediction for the most important event of February 8th: the Puppy Bowl
By Chiara Volpi
Yes, Feb. 8 has another, allegedly “fun” event that rhymes with Schmuper Schmowl. Although I will be following along for the inventive, memeable advertisements and the always iconic halftime show, I will not be watching for the sport. My love of the game belongs elsewhere—with the puppies.
Launched in 2005, the Puppy Bowl began as a joke. However, it quickly became a beloved Animal Planet tradition that promotes shelter pet adoption. The rules are simple: the cutest little two teams of 18 puppies face off against each other, scoring “touchdowns” by dragging chew toys into end zones. Ultimately, the winner is crowned with the Lombarky trophy.
The show, which has drawn in an impressive average of 12.8 million viewers over twenty years, has everything the traditional Super Bowl offers, except in a much cooler way: a “barking lot” tailgate pregame, a “Pro-Dog” showdown between Team Oldies and Team Goldies to promote senior dog adoption, and hilarious pup names that may have that one Key and Peele sketch beat.
I’m not a betting woman by any means, but here is my prediction for this year’s bowl: similar to last year, I foresee a tight game, with plenty of adorable touchdowns and mid-game naps. MVP candidates like Leo (Team Fluff) and Remy (Team Ruff) have the cuteness and personality to carry their teams all the way, but ultimately, I believe reigning champs, Team Ruff, will prevail once again.
Happy Puppy Bowl week to all who celebrate!
