Georgetown Program Board (GPB) hosted Funniest Human, the annual standup comedy show on Feb. 20. During the event, emceed by previous winner Sophie Maretz (CAS ’26), eight contestants fought for laughs, the coveted title, a comically large check, and tickets to a D.C. Improv Show.
Each comedian brought their own sense of humor to Gaston.
Owen Simon (CAS ’26) kicked off the event by reviewing both AI chatbots and Tulsa, Ohio. Lowell Lawrence (CAS ’28) explained what happens when you get your fingers stuck in the M Street Chipotle wall while Kumar Varma (CAS ’26) went into explicit detail about the process of getting stationed outside of Georgetown Cupcake. Anna Dewey (CAS ’26) really wants to try your food—she’s never tried it before; Simon Maxwell (CAS ’29) discovered his long-lost siblings; Shana Struski (SFS ’27) somehow failed her Spanish Proficiency Exam; and Stephen Purdum (CAS ’26) believes he’s genetically predisposed to being pulled aside at TSA.
But only one could win: Tommy Cronin (CAS ’26)—whose set detailed his past jobs mowing his innuendo-laden local priest’s lawn, teaching at a Spanish school where the students nicknamed him “Shrek,” working at a special education school, and becoming the face of the infamous Tombs cover charge—left victorious.
Following his win, the Voice sat down with Cronin to discover what led him to the stage, and ultimately winning the title of Funniest Human.
Cronin credits his large Irish Catholic family, particularly his older brother, as the origin of his humor. He also grew up watching stand up specials, particularly Bo Burnham’s, and remembers being obsessed with “Key & Peele” and “Lonely Island.”
“I’ve just continued to consume a lot of comedy—comedy podcasts and more comedy specials,” Cronin said.
Recently, Cronin has looked to Tom Segura’s older comedy specials, Rick Glassman’s podcast “Take Your Shoes Off,” and Caleb Heron’s HBO special and show “That’s So True” for inspiration.
After getting a list of open mic spots in D.C. from his friend David Edwards (CAS ’24), Cronin started performing his own sets.
“I started doing stand up last spring when I got back from abroad. I had always been a huge stand up fan, and wanted to try at some point,” Cronin said. “By the time this spring rolled around, I felt like I got a lot better and I knew I wanted to do [Funniest Human] before I graduated.”
When asked about his writing process, Cronin explained that he often remixes news headlines to apply them to his life and records funny observations from the day on his phone.
For the Funniest Human set specifically, Cronin had numerous other job-experiences to draw on: stocking grocery store shelves during Covid, working on a farm, landscaping, working as the clerk of a local snack shack, and working at an outpatient therapy and rehab facility when his boss had him “ChatGPT a novel about a young girl growing up in Nigeria,” Cronin said.
Cronin, like all comedians, learned he has to adapt on stage.
“I think you realize pretty quickly when you’re up there, nobody’s gonna laugh at what you’re saying, because everything you say starts to feel super corny, and people look really uncomfortable in the audience,” Cronin said.
When asked about his pre-performance routine, Cronin explained he’s usually pretty nervous to go on stage.
“I just try to imagine that I’m going up and gonna tell a story to my close friends and hope that it comes across like that,” Cronin said.
While Cronin had stand-up experience leading up to Funniest Human, he found the event to be a unique opportunity.
“Usually the open mics are 10 people, and maybe five people are listening to you, and there’s a lot of alcoholics that just show up and yell on stage,” Cronin said. “Funniest Human was by far the biggest audience that I’ve ever performed for.”
With the crowd of fellow Hoyas, Cronin enjoyed the opportunity to crack Georgetown-specific jokes.
“It was just nice to have a real audience of non-comedians, people who are excited to hear comedy,” Cronin said.
Following his Friday victory, Cronin faced rejection at his regular Tuesday night open mic.
“I hadn’t written any new material, so I literally just did the Funniest Human thing and nobody laughed the entire time,” Cronin said.
Luckily, the seats of Gaston Hall were filled with peers, classmates, and a row of Cronin’s close friends.
“That was all my roommates, plus my intramural basketball team, and then my little brother, Johnny, who has come to a lot of the open mics with me, then all of his friends,” Cronin said. “It was a combined effort, but it was super nice to have them there.”
Above all else, hopefully those still upset about the Tombs cover charge in the crowd could finally forgive him.
After his victorious win, perhaps Cronin will join the long line of Georgetown comedians. For now, he plans to continue performing at open mics and making people laugh.
