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Georgetown University Missed Connections

By the Voice Staff September 8, 2011

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People’s Liberation News Report of Basketball Athletics Competition

8.26.11 Page 13

By the Voice Staff August 26, 2011

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An Open Letter to All Residents of Georgetown

By the Voice Staff April 28, 2011

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THE FUNNY PAGE

Fresh comics! Come and get 'em!

By Brendan Baumgardner April 7, 2011

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Don’t play it SAFE: How to spend $3.4 million

Last December, Gusa passed SAFE reform, freeing up the $3.4 million previously allocated to the Student Activities Fee Endowment. We at the Voice understand the importance of careful consideration when allocating University money, and would like a voice in the proceedings.

By Brendan Baumgardner March 31, 2011

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Fall – Part Two

“Look at me, you can do this. Just lower yourself into an L-shape and walk down. You have someone belaying down below so you won’t fall. I promise you that... Read more

By Jared Watkins March 24, 2011

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Fall – Part One

We all had fathers. We all had brothers. We all had sisters. Of course, we all had mothers. We all had cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents. Hell, we all had children, sons and daughters both. That’s the only thing you think of in the classroom. It’s all that’s in your head when you straighten your gig line, shine your shoes, adjust your hat so it’s just above your eyebrows.

By Jared Watkins March 17, 2011

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THE FUNNY PAGE

Fresh comics! Come and get 'em!

By Brendan Baumgardner March 3, 2011

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Georgetown V. McLovin

In the wake of the Metropolitan Police Department's recent seizure of more than a dozen fake ID's at Third Edition last week, there has been growing concern regarding the increased quality of forgeries. The Voice has received access to some recently confiscated fakes, and will present them to help local alcohol distributors identify falsified information.

By Brendan Baumgardner February 17, 2011

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The Funny Page

Fresh comics! Come and get 'em!

By Brendan Baumgardner February 3, 2011

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An Open Letter to Andrew W.K.

Don't count your chickens before they've partied.

By Brendan Baumgardner January 24, 2011

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Themes

It’s a rare condition this day and age to read any good news on the newspaper page. Whatever happened to predictability? The milkman, the paperboy, evening T.V. And you knew who you were then; girls were girls and men were men … Guys like us we had it made, those were the days.

By Jared Watkins January 23, 2011

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Make it New

You open the cabinet, take a mug from the shelf, fill it with tap water and set the microwave to two minutes. Another cup of tea, another late night. You’re... Read more

By Joseph Romano December 2, 2010

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Shoshanna’s Ache

For a few years now, this had been Shoshanna’s greatest fear, dying utterly alone in bed, having only ever had pathetic, unfinished dreams of what it’s like to be kissed, caressed, held, or loved. Often times this feeling has plagued her; she has a hole in her chest, a vulnerable soft spot aching to be filled, or just touched for a brief moment of eternity.

By Anastasia Baran October 28, 2010

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Jeff Whitman

Jeffrey, stop that. We talked about this.” His mother’s quick hiss was harsh and familiar, and Jeff reflexively looked down at his arm. He hadn’t even realized he’d been slowly digging his fingernails into his flesh, but he never did. It was a nervous habit as old as he could remember, one of many, but this one most frequently came out to play during these traditional Whitman family Sunday brunches at the club.

By Leigh Finnegan October 8, 2010

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Fabulous Prizes

The very first television game show, Spelling Bee, was broadcast in 1938. Did you know that? I didn’t. The very first word written for the entertainment of others was too long before my time. Darkness. I stand in darkness. Why am I standing? What am I leaning into? I am laying my arms gently upon some sort of podium.

By Jared Watkins September 30, 2010

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Spiral (Part 2)

Continued from last week’s edition.. My mom died six months after I was born. Pneumonia, an infection. I’m not exactly sure, I never really wanted to talk with my dad about it. I never really want to talk to him at all anymore. Weird, right?

By Joseph Romano September 23, 2010

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Spiral

He was a sculptor. His body was found on the shore the next morning. Overnight, frost crystallized on the ends of his hair, his lips, the inside of his ear, his nostrils, his forefingers, his chipped fibula cracking through wax paper skin. The coroner said that the impact wasn’t enough to kill him outright, but that he had a heart attack during freefall. He had jumped off the Francis Scott Key Bridge.

By Joseph Romano September 16, 2010

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Mr. Saturday Night Fever

If you ever encounter Mr. Saturday Night, be sure to treat him with extra care. He’s one of our best customers. Who’s Mr. Saturday Night? Don’t worry, you’ll know him once you’ve served him. He comes in every Saturday night and gets the same thing: a Gotta-Have-It size chocolate ice cream with peanuts, strawberries, peanut butter, and two Reese’s cups served in a to-go cup with no lid. And he always tips well, really well. Man, we were a little worried after the incident that he wouldn’t be coming back and he wasn’t for a while. But he started coming back about two weeks ago and we knew it was okay then.

By Jared Watkins September 9, 2010