You’ve Got Issues: All’s fair in love and housing

Dear Emlyn,

Despite the fact that I’m a freshman, I got things going really fast with a girl this semester, and we’re in a happy relationship. I even visited her family over Thanksgiving, and her mom loved me. The problem is this: I’ve got a terrible, terrible exam schedule, which is forcing me take time off from work. Less work means less money. I want to do things with her before we part ways for a month-long Christmas break, and I want to buy her something nice for Christmas, but I barely have any money or time. How do I navigate a thin wallet and a fat schedule?

-Poor in Love

You’ve got issues: Dear Emlyn, Put a sock in it

Dear Emlyn,
So there’s this guy. I really like him, and he’s established in multiple ways that he likes me, but he’s failing to take our attracted-friends relationship any further. This weekend, he’s going to be dressing up for Halloween as a really slutty Scarecrow, with some of his friends going as slutty Tin Man and Lion. They also have a Dorothy, which is some other girl–a.k.a. not me. I feel really jealous that he’s not mine, and he’s going to be going around strutting his stuff and I can’t even be a part of their group. What do I do?
—Unsexy Dorothy :(

You’ve got issues: Breakfast at Tombs

Dear Emlyn,

I’m a sophomore and it’s housing selection time for me. I live in Southwest Quad with one of my friends from freshman year, but this semester we haven’t been that close and even disagree pretty frequently. I don’t want to live with him next year, but I don’t really know how to break the news. Advice?
-Gloomy Roomie

You’ve got issues: ‘I’ve just got a lot of feelings.’

Dear Emlyn,

I have a freshman who is in love with me. Is it ethical for me to make him take my laundry to the dry cleaner’s?

Kisses,

Jackie “Launderin’” DeGioia

You’ve Got Issues: Love’s labours and Leo’s

Dear Emlyn,

I am under 21 and don’t have a fake ID. I tend to like the older ladies here at Georgetown, and sometimes I snag a gorgeous junior or senior and take her out to coffee. Here’s the issue– when it’s time to step it up from a coffee date and take her for a nice dinner, I sort of hit a wall. I can’t buy her wine at a restaurant, can’t take her out to a bar or a club, etc. It sucks. Help please!

—Young Luv

You’ve got Issues: At least you’re not in Darnall

Dear Emlyn,

I’m a totally awesome freshman, and was expecting that I would be invited to all sorts of raging parties, right? Here’s the thing though– I don’t really know many people, and have yet to be invited to anything besides an ice cream social or two. It sucks. Am I doomed to wandering around Village A in a pack with 30 of my fellow freshmen?

You’ve got issues: Take it with a grain of salt

Dear Emlyn,
I’m obsessed with movies, and there are a LOT that I want to watch with my girlfriend. But we only have three weeks left in the semester! She probably does not care to see all of them, but HOW DO I KNOW WHICH ONES SHE DOES CARE TO SEE?! I mean, I can’t ask her directly, that’s weird. On top of this, we have to wait until the fall to watch the next season of Breaking Bad, and that’s just a tragedy. Fix my problems.
—Swaggy Swate