Oh my god you guys, I can’t BELIEVE we’re seniors! This is going to be the best year of our lives, I swear. You’re all, like, my best friends, and there’s seriously no one I’d rather have fun with. And there’s so much fun to be had!
I mean, senior disorientation is coming up. We’re gonna get sooo drunk, oh my god. Like, plastered for two whole weeks! There’s going to be toga parties, and kegs, and?oh yeah!?more parties! I heard there’s like some other stuff going on, too, like movies, concerts and a trip to an Orioles game or something, but I mean I don’t really like sports unless my team is in the playoffs, so whatever. And we have our whole lives to see concerts and movies, but we only have this year to get hammered! We’re seniors!
Wow, senior year, you guys. It felt, like, just yesterday that I was moving into Harbin, walking up all those gross steps and meeting my roommate. I was really scared, you guys, because when I got my roommate’s name that summer it was something Spanish and weird. I mean, I’m not racist?I swear!?but I just went to high school with white kids, so you know.
But it was all good, because he was sooo cool and from Connecticut. At first it was weird because he said he was originally from Brazil, but I noticed he didn’t know how to speak Spanish, so I knew he was lying about all that. So I was like, whatever. But we started hanging out, and didn’t you know he was homecoming king AND liked Billy Joel? Dude, we got sooo drunk that year, oh my god. Remember that time you resisted arrest at Champs and the cops billy clubbed you into a three-week coma? Oh my god, that was sooo funny.
But it sucks, you know, since Champs is closing and all. It’s all good, because I bet there will be a ton of rooftop parties this year. I love wading through all those sweaty people to get a plastic cup of beer. It’s the best way to make all your stress from the week just disappear! And there’s soooo many hot chicks at Georgetown parties. I’ll tell you this: Nothing gets me going like excessive makeup and tight clothing, even if the girl doesn’t exactly fit into her jeans. Word. I think it’s so cool that girls are willing to wear almost nothing in the wintertime just to go to a party. Like, I know they turn purple and shiver uncontrollably walking to Burleith, but it’s all in the name of fun, so who cares, you know?
It’s definitely kind of weird being back on campus after being abroad for a semester. You guys, oh my god, it was like the best experience of my life! The people there were sooo cool and interesting, and it was sooo amazing, oh my god. I hung out with all kinds of diverse people from universities all over the States. I mean, there were kids from UVA, Harvard, UCLA, even Rutgers! I even met a black kid! Oh my god, we got so hammered! I missed you all so much!
But yea, all in all, it’s good to be back here. I mean, there are some things I didn’t miss. Like those Israeli and Muslim kids fighting in Red Square all the time. I mean, god, can’t you just kick back and have fun? I mean, there are more important things than a piece of thousand-year-old land, so get over it for Christ’s sake. Have a beer or something! And why are there always gay kids in Red Square? That’s so gross, you guys, oh my god. Oh! And the worst part about being back here is the food! I mean, when I go to Darnall there’s like nothing good to eat and I’m forced to starve myself with only a salad and some water! But I sneak some ice cream before I walk out, so it’s okay!
You know what? Go Hoyas! It’s so nice to see all the athletes walking around in sweatsuits again, and those sandwiches in Vittles taste better than ever! And I can’t wait to bartend at Hoya’s! That place is the tops!
But the best part about being a senior is that we’re all 21 now! I mean, we can go to the Tombs on like any night, because it’s so fun and there’s always people we know there. It’s like the entire Hoya Blue staff plans to show up there each and every night! And we can go down to the bars on M Street, too, finally! It’ll be sooo cool to get into Rhino’s legally and make fun of all those stupid first-years worrying about their fake IDs and stuff. Some kid told me there are some other bars around Capitol Hill or Adams Morgan, but I don’t know how to get there so, whatever.
Oh my god, you guys, I’m tearing up. This is it. We’re almost done with the best four years of our lives. After this, it’s all downhill. We have to find careers immediately after graduation and resign ourselves to lives of mediocrity and bitter, regretful marriage. But hey, you know what? If I can look back on my senior year at Georgetown and know that I had the most kick-ass time ever, then it’s all good! I love you guys! I can’t wait! Class of 2003 forever!
Peter Hamby is a senior in the College and contributing editor of The Georgetown Voice. Watch out, or he’ll water balloon your mom. Holla!
