Between 18 credits, multiple clubs and Congressional internships, most Georgetown students believe they are making the most of life, even at the expense of sleep. Yet it all pales in comparison to a few fellow students for whom extracurricular activities mean something else entirely: Georgetown students with kids of their own.
Mention Georgetown students with kids and the common response is, “Are there any?” Georgetown is not a community where one might expect people to have children, start a family, or settle down. Jennifer Kueler (SFS ‘09), President of GU Right to Life and liaison to the University’s Health Education Services, is not surprised.
“Personally, the sense that I get is that Georgetown is so intense, anything that impedes someone from getting the degree, the internship, etc., becomes very hush-hush,” she said. “Pregnant students don’t fit in the sense that they think that having a family is more important than having a career.”
Most of the people interviewed for this article were very open about their situation. Richard Pelletier (MSB ’09), brought his then-infant son and fiancé to move him in freshman year. Elizabeth (COL ‘08), who had her daughter in 2004, has been back at school full and part-time since and brings her daughter up in class often. Corrine, a Ph. D candidate, has a 2-year-old son and has been at school on and off since his birth, and Sara Washington, was at school through her entire pregnancy and had a five-month-old daughter when she graduated from the College in May of 2007. This openness, however, does not always lead to increased interaction with the wide variety of pregnancy services Georgetown offers.
There is a profound disconnect between these students and the average Georgetown student. Elizabeth, who is 25, said she’s not really integrated into the Georgetown community.
“It’s weird being back in school with people four to six years younger than me,” she said, “[They] had never been pregnant, had a kid, gotten married, dealt with stuff I dealt with over past few years.”
Pelletier, who spends every third weekend back in Connecticut with his son, feels like he’s “half here and half not.”
“I’m not your typical 21-year-old,” he said.
This disconnect is also reflected in the reactions that student parents get from their peers.
“It does change how people perceive me,” Elizabeth said. “I’m a pretty decent judge about who’s going to be ok with it—some people are like ‘whoa,’ some are like ‘huh’ and some are like ‘tell me more.’”
Washington talked about being in a class discussing teenage mothers and marrying young.
“People were shocked that I was,” she said. “They didn’t disapprove, they just thought it was weird.”
Corrine describes varying reactions from the people in her program who had thought about similar issues.
“There were women faculty in the department who had made different choices in their lives,” she said. “I felt like on some level I was being judged, like, ‘Why would you have a kid at this point in your life?’”
Other fellow classmates saw it differently.
“When you get to this level, people have made choices,” Corrine said. “A lot of women classmates were like ‘I wish I were having a baby.’”
Georgetown’s identity as a Catholic institution figures into the experience and services the University provides. Carol Day, director of Health Education Services, says that the Catholic identity of the University is a positive factor.
“Sure [the Catholic identity] affects us!” she said. “We are values based, and our goal is to support the student that carries a child to term.”
The organization Feminists for Life, which is “dedicated to systematically eliminating the root causes that drive women to abortion” considers Georgetown a “model program,” according to Day. This organization moderated the first Pregnancy Resource Forum at Georgetown University about ten years ago, and would like more universities to offer the services that Georgetown provides.
“Most places don’t have anything close to what we provide,” Day said. “They don’t feel like it’s their job, it’s not consistent with their mission. (https://7ziphelp.com/) Whereas it’s entirely consistent with our mission. We support the needs of the whole student, we try to be sensitive to students’ needs, we don’t want to withhold support.”
There is, however, the issue of whether an avowed Catholic university can really offer a balanced view of the options available to pregnant students.
“We understand that we are a Catholic institution, and the teachings of the Catholic church claim that sex is something to be considered within a marriage with a lifelong partner,” Day admitted. “People don’t always take that trajectory. We’re happy to support people who find themselves in this situation, regardless of circumstances.”
She also noted that a good portion of the student body is not Catholic, and that the Catholic Church itself has a “faith reconciliation” program for people who choose abortion.
“We are non-judgmental health professionals,” she said. “Neutrals, trying to help. We try to see needs for what they are.”
Corrine found these claims to be true. She first accessed University pregnancy services because she saw the stickers the office has put up in many University bathrooms on campus—“Pregnant? You’re not alone”—and decided to take advantage of the free pregnancy test.
“You see those stickers in the bathroom, that people cross out, and they tell you ‘Don’t go to pregnancy services, they’ll tell you to keep your baby,’” she said. “But none of that ever came up. They weren’t political, they were just helpful. There was no agenda at all, just what can they do to help you. Even at the Student Health Center, the first thing [the nurse] asked was ‘Well, do you want to keep it?’ They were really helpful, and I really appreciated it.”
Elizabeth, a theology major, found that the many Catholics in her upper level classes were intrigued by her situation.
“In that class it was more well-received,” she said. “Because I was married, the reaction was more ‘Wow, you didn’t have an abortion, you got married, you tried to do what is right.’”
Elizabeth and her husband have since separated.
It was through her classmates that Elizabeth connected with GU Right to Life, which provides a variety of support and resources on campus, though Elizabeth has not really availed herself of them.
Right to Life, Kueler says, tries to “provide resources for women so they don’t feel like they’re forced to choose between having an abortion and having their baby.”
The organization hosted the Pregnancy Resource Forum as a way of finding out what they could help with, through University Health Services. Right to Life provides diapers and supplies, as well as free babysitting whenever needed. Kueler says her organization thinks of the support they provide as separate from the advocacy and education they run. She stresses that they are not involved in counseling, and the support they provide is “non-political and non-controversial.”
“We’re providing resources and support for people who’ve already made the decision to be parents,” she said. “People don’t come to us for help, though they do say ‘Thank you’ for what we’ve done.”
Brittany Schulman, a board member of H*yas for Choice, supports many of Right to Life’s efforts.
“I think its great that Right to Life does that,” she said. “I think that if someone’s gonna have a child, they’re gonna have a child. The services they provide are great, but its after the fact. I hope it wouldn’t be a deciding factor.”
H-yas for Choice tries to provide students with options that include those the University might not promote, including Planned Parenthood, a pro-choice and pro-contraception organization. H-yas for Choice and Right to Life are in agreement that once someone has a child, there should be as many services as possible. Both believe they’re helping women on campus to continue their education at Georgetown.
Corrine had a very difficult experience in trying to have a child and be a student at Georgetown. She had her son in May of 2005, when she was one semester shy of the coursework she needed to get her Ph.D. Trying to take a leave of absence in January of 2006, she faced what she described as “an ordeal.” The school would give her leave, but she would have lost the funding she’d gotten for that semester, and would not be able to finish her work on time.
What she needed was maternity leave that would stop the clock, and the policy for the graduate school did not grant that.
“I thought it was ridiculous,” she said. “What do you expect me to do? It’s a Catholic university, I see Right to Life everywhere. I’m married, almost 30 years old, I didn’t plan this but it happens.”
She saw it as a “serious hypocrisy” between Georgetown’s Catholic doctrine and the administration’s attitude toward her. She also had trouble with individual professors, and finding desks she could sit at.
“In the end, when Dean [James] Schaefer was made aware of the problem, and saw me as a real person, a real mother, it was no issue for him,” she said.
She said she was the first person the Georgetown Graduate School ever granted maternity leave to. There is talk of changing the language of the school’s policy to institutionalize maternity leave, rather than have it be the exception.
“Hopefully the policy has changed because of the questions she was asking,” Day, who as Health Services Director was instrumental in Corrine’s ability to get her case through, said. “It looked like it was going to be, or was in the process of changing, but we haven’t tested it yet.”
Washington’s decision brought her a different set of problems when she graduated with a five-month-old last year.
She stayed in school while she was pregnant, and did not feel as self-conscious as Corrine did. “The University was very supportive, and teachers very accommodating,” she said. “I had a good support system from Ms. Day. They don’t outcast you— even though they gave me more leniency, they treated me like I was a regular student.”
Her difficulty came once she decided to stay in school after her daughter’s birth. She had her daughter right before winter break of 2006, and when she tried to enroll for classes for the next semester, the Dean’s office told her that she couldn’t come back to school, and should take a leave of absence.
“I had to fight with them,” she said. “They tried to tell me that I would be too tired, I needed to be home with my child. Basically they tried to tell me how to be a mother. I think they should let students make their own decisions.”
The people who were able to balance a child with being a student were those who had a lot of outside support. Both Elizabeth and Washington have family who live nearby and take care of their kids while they are at school, and Pelletier’s fiancé’s parents help care for his child. They arrange their classes so they can be home as much as possible — Sara had classes only three days a week, while Elizabeth blocked her classes into 6-hour shifts and had a nanny for those hours. Their contact with the University varies. Elizabeth doesn’t think Georgetown knows she has a child, and Pelletier only mentioned his son to University officials in an “informal letter” to the Office of Financial Aid, though he’s not sure what the specific effects were.
The parents with the most outside support knew the least about the resources the school provides, which include counseling, supplies, parking spaces, even a townhouse where single mothers with children can live. Those who had taken advantage of University resources spoke highly of Carol Day and Pregnancy Services.
“If I hadn’t had Carol Day and Pregnancy Services, I totally would have lost my mind,” Corrine said. “They didn’t know me, but she’s been so sweet, kept in touch, I really appreciated their help. I thought they were great.”
Other parents were not aware of everything at their disposal.
“I knew nothing about support the Georgetown provides,” Elizabeth said. “I have a lot of support from family, so it wasn’t that much of a concern.”
Those interviewed unanimously called Georgetown a good place to have children.
“It’s been a great experience,” Pelletier said. “No complaints. Jordan [his son] enjoys [it] when he comes, its been great over all. I’ve had a very good time here.”
Elizabeth is considering joining the Peace Corps and bringing her daughter.
“It wouldn’t have occurred to me as a possibility if I hadn’t gone to school while taking care of her,” she said. “I think if you’re going to raise a kid and go to school, Georgetown is a great place to do it.”
