For the past three years, I’ve worked at the Cawley Career Center, training with industry professionals to help students perfect their job application materials. As application season comes to a close for the upcoming summer, I thought I would share an example cover letter that is sure to cinch you a cushy job at your dream office. If the many, many SFS students’ cover letters I’ve read over the years are any indication, this must be the industry standard:
John Hoya (he/him/his)
Washington, D.C. / the nice part of BedStuy
To whomever is interested in paying me upwards of $110k:
I was excited to learn about your firm’s International-Diplomacy-Social-Impact-Consulting position from the head of your Finance Department. To address the elephant in the room, yes, he is my uncle. But he isn’t blood-related, so it can’t be considered nepotism. As a graduating senior at Georgetown University with a passion for socially responsible private equity work, I am confident that my skills and relevant experience will generate value for your company—oh, and for marginalized communities too.
At Georgetown, I study International Political Economy with minors in Justice and Peace Studies and Education, Inquiry and Justice (EDIJ). My concentration focuses on the development of sustainable agricultural practices in Latin America for exclusive crop export to the Global North. My interdisciplinary academic background allows me to center underrepresented and underprivileged perspectives—when I feel I have the time—while always prioritizing what matters most, the acquisition of fiscal capital in service of multilateral conglomerates.
My academic experiences have prepared me to work in environments that mirror the mission statement I briefly read on the front page of your firm’s website. For example, to complete my EDIJ minor, I spent an enriching five days volunteering in a D.C. public elementary school. It was harrowing, to say the least. I expected most students to complete their assignments on loose sheets of paper, but I was shocked to see my classroom had tablets! And they call themselves underfunded! Although I cannot remember any of my students’ names, my time with DCPS will stay with me for the rest of my career, or until I no longer feel the need to include it on my resume. This experience taught me to be grateful for my private school education, and to avoid the teaching profession at all costs.
Outside of the classroom, I have sought out professional experiences that made me attractive to companies that engage in performative activism. Last summer, I completed an unpaid internship with a non-profit organization whose mission was to give incarcerated individuals charm bracelets with inspirational quotes on them. Despite these impactful initiatives, the prison facility confiscated items brought in by external visitors. Demonstrating my problem-solving skills, I contacted my supervisor immediately to alert her of the issue (girlboss!). We pivoted our business model accordingly, distributing the remaining bracelets to unhoused women in the Dominican Republic. We funded our travel through the Center for Social Justice’s Social Innovation & Public Service Fund, so it was no cost to us. In addition to discovering my love for CSJ-subsidized travel, I learned I had a new passion: the beaches of Punta Cana.
To bring my social justice work back to Georgetown, I have volunteered my time as a Blue and Gray tour guide. After three years of assuring worried parents that Georgetown will help their children graduate with a job that will pay off their student loans, I’m confident in my ability to lie to your stakeholders about the quality of your product and the feasibility of paying for it.
After graduation, I plan to spend multiple months traveling through the most touristy parts of Southeast Asia so that I can enrich your firm with a non-Western perspective. Although my parents will eventually force me to get an MBA at Stanford (my mom’s alma mater), I can’t wait to discuss working for your firm. I’ve attached my resume below, as well as a complete list of relatives and family friends who hold C-suite positions in the investment banking industry. The career center advised me to call them “references.” I expect to hear from you soon, since my Georgetown degree should signal you to favor me over any state school applicants.
Warm Regards,
John Hoya
