Archive

Daniel Nettheim Hunts for awards; shoots self in foot

The Tasmanian “Tiger” took its name from a big cat and resembled a dog, but it was, in fact, neither. Thylacine, as it is properly called, belonged to the marsupial group, that quirky family of (mainly) Aussie creatures that defies classification—the hipsters of the mammalian world. On YouTube, you can still watch the last thylacine pace around its tiny enclosure, then stand on its hind legs—almost kangaroo-like—pawing at its cage. Since the animal went extinct in 1936, repeated “sightings” in the Tasmanian wilderness have created a persistent mythology around the peculiar creature.

By Jake Schindler April 12, 2012

God Mode: Gaming the system

I have a quest I need to complete. It’s a bit of a grind, but if I finish it I’ll get enough experience points to level up. All I have to do is run two miles, do 40 push-ups, and then complete 100 crunches. In real life.

By Tim Shine April 12, 2012

Blast That Box: Plato flunks Ghetto University

In my theology class about death, we watched esoteric films like The Fountain and read the hallowed works of Plato. Although I can see what the professor was trying to accomplish, this characteristically Georgetown class was merely another attempt to dilute the real education that I should have been receiving from the true role models of modern society. Hip-hop idols are among us, and they are the ones who now teach the facts of life and impart logical wisdom upon the masses. It’s baffling that we aren’t studying rap and its sociological implications in a large amount of our classes instead of the inane commentary of the long-gone philosophical minds like Plato. As I look through the preregistration course schedule for next year, I find only frivolity.

By Matt Pacana April 12, 2012

Page 13 Cartoons

Dahlgren Mass: Resurrection

By the Voice Staff April 12, 2012

Critical Voices: Alabama Shakes, Boys & Girls

In the 1960s and 70s, the musicological spontaneity of artists like Eric Clapton and Jimi Hendrix popularized a fusion of soul, blues, and rock that has been virtually unrepeatable in the decades since. But this year, that streak of trial-and-error has finally ended—on its debut album Boys & Girls, Alabama Shakes replicates this unique sound while still managing to create an identity all its own.

By Kirill Makarenko April 12, 2012

Critical Voices: Nicki Minaj, Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded

Since her breakout in 2007, Nicki Minaj has integrated contradictory elements in both her personality and musical style—the 5-foot-2 girly-girl of “Super Bass” also raps frequently about having a dick. Minaj takes this creative clash to the extreme in Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded, relying on her alter-egos to sing out her brash lyrics. Although Minaj has released songs in which she sings through her alter-egos in the past, Roman Reloaded features much more of Roman Zolanski, her gay “brother” borne out of Minaj’s rage; Martha, his austere mother; and Barbie, the all-around girly-girl.

By Connor Jones April 12, 2012

Garza leads improved baseball team

Hailing from San Antonio, Mike Garza is a redshirt junior leading the team in several offensive categories. Both in and out of conference, Garza has been putting up numbers that put him among the top in the Big East. His .390 batting average ranks fourth out of all players in the conference, and his 53 hits rank second.

By Steven Criss April 12, 2012

Sports Sermon: Skip and Dwight need to mature

Skip Bayless seems even to embrace his role as an outspoken villain, one whom athletes love to rip apart. That trend seems to be more common in the media, but certainly not among athletes, who simply want to be loved and adored.

By Kevin Joseph April 12, 2012

Tarzian leads strong Big East play

With a four-game streak of victories by a margin of seven goals or more, the Georgetown women’s lacrosse team is on a convincing campaign for the postseason.

By Abby Sherburne April 12, 2012

Double Teamed: Ozzie Guillen abuses sports’ big stage

Ozzie Guillen is more than just the manager of a professional baseball team—he is a figurehead and representative of the Miami community.

By Daniel Kellner April 12, 2012

Nerlens Noel spurns Hoyas

Still, a game-changing shot blocker in the middle would have been a recruiting coup for the Hoyas. But the Hoyas will retain their newfound defensive vigor, led by Porter and Whittington – not a bad consolation prize.

By Kevin Joseph April 12, 2012

Gordon Ramsay bites off a bit more than he can chew

“You disappoint me, Ramsay,” remarked journalist and Top Gear host James May as the chef vomited into an orange bucket. As very few will recall, Gordon Ramsay challenged May in the third season of The F Word to a contest that would determine which of the two had the largest man-parts. Following a rather uneventful partaking of snake whiskey and bull penis, the waiter brought forth the main course—shark meat. Ramsay could not stomach the Icelandic delicacy, and was reduced to cowering under May’s judgment.

By Kirill Makarenko March 30, 2012

D.C. sharks reflect on aquarium conditions, life aquatic

Last week, the National Aquarium gave the Voice the unique opportunity to interview three of the sharks housed in the basement of its building on 14th and Constitution Ave. Despite having to go through extensive security to visit the sharks—they do, of course, live in a federal government building—they gracefully downplayed their celebrity status and responded to my questions with the utmost candor. Even though I had to read their expressions through the glass, it was clear that they do not let the customized enclosure and legions of ogling visitors go to their cartilage-protected heads.

By Julia Lloyd-George March 30, 2012

Critically acclaimed Street Sharks resonates through time

This week, everyone needs to take a break from Mad Men and remember back to the real Golden Age of television—the 1990s. Full House, Boy Meets World, and Street Sharks were at our slimy seven-year-old fingertips, and we didn’t even know how good we had it. You may not recognize those first two shows, as they are often cited as irrelevant, but you are certain to recognize the third. Ah yes, Street Sharks, the one and only show about the crime-fighting mutant shark-men.

By Will Collins March 30, 2012

Box Office, Baby! Samuel L. vs. the shark

There are few things in this world scarier than sharks. If not for sharks, tropical beach resorts could be fully realized pieces of heaven on earth, instead of bastions of terror with bathers constantly on the lookout for dorsal fins. Since most of us haven’t had the personal experience of a shark attack, we are left to wonder how splashing one’s feet in the water came to immediately trigger the image of a shark bite. For most, it was Jaws. For this writer, it’s the 1999 shark thriller Deep Blue Sea.

By Mark James March 30, 2012

Trash Talk: Fish are friends, not food

With their raw strength and unbridled ferocity, sharks evoke so much power and energy that we use the name to describe business moguls and successful entrepreneurs. Add on the unfortunate reality of shark attacks on humans, and sharks take on an almost mythic nature—they excite our wildest imaginations and simultaneously haunt our worst nightmares. It is no surprise, then, that when BBC set out to film the most awe-inspiring and captivating scenes of the natural world for Planet Earth—the most ambitious and most expensive nature documentary series of all time—sharks had to be a focal point.

By Keaton Hoffman March 30, 2012

As I lay dying on the beach: The final ruminations of a seal

Hey you there, reading the newspaper! I’m in a bit of a tight and sharp situation. I’m down here in the grips of this freaking great white shark. Why is this happening to me? Aren’t the odds of getting eaten by a shark one in a million? I mean, yes, but I’m a seal. Sharks eat seals all the time, but I always thought it would be another seal. Now I’m about to become a simple statistic. This shark won’t even remember me in a day.

By the Voice Staff March 29, 2012

Piranha 3DD blows like a killer whale’s waterspout

Piranha 3DD sinks water-animal horror movies to a new low. And I’m not talking about Marianas Trench low. This movie just bites.

By the Voice Staff March 29, 2012

Hey, Discovery Channel! Pick a better animal, dammit

When I heard the Voice was publishing a shark-themed issue, I felt a sense of dread usually reserved for those dismal seven days of August programming on the Discovery Channel. I despise sharks, and I despise Shark Week. I’m not trying to be an obnoxious contrarian (if I were, I’d write about how and why I never read the Harry Potter books), and I’m not above enjoying even the most exploitative of animal-themed cable shows (which is surely Animal Planet’s Too Cute). But sharks just plain bore me, and they’re close to the bottom of my list of animals that deserve a week of programming. I don’t want sharks shoved down my throat any longer, unless they’re in the form of delicious shark fin soup.

By Jake Schindler March 29, 2012

Carrying On: Based on a true story

It’s a beautiful dawn on Martha’s Vineyard (a.k.a. Amity Island), where a young woman dashes into the sea for a swim at sunrise. She paddles peacefully through calm open water, with not a care in the world. This must be heaven, right?

By Daniel Kellner March 29, 2012

Stafford loan interest rate set to double by summer

Unless Congress acts before July 30, the interest rate for federally subsidized Stafford loans will increase from 3.4 percent to 6.8 percent, potentially increasing the debt load for over 6,000 Georgetown undergraduate and graduate students.

By Connor Jones March 29, 2012

Newt Gingrich speaks at Georgetown amid protests

A group of 22 students gathered on Healy lawn yesterday to protest former Speaker of the House and presidential candidate Newt Gingrich’s lecture in Gaston Hall. The talk, entitled, “Giving Young Americans the Right to Choose a Personal Social Security Account,” was sponsored by Georgetown University College Republicans and the Lecture Fund. The Lecture Fund has invited all 2012 presidential candidates to speak at Georgetown, and Gingrich is the first candidate to have accepted the invitation, an interesting move in what seems to be the death rattles of Gingrich’s bid for the 2012 presidency.

By Tiare Dunlap March 29, 2012

GUSA executive establishes Georgetown Day committee

Since news of the lack of Georgetown Day planning hit campus last week, the GUSA executive has spearheaded an effort to salvage this year’s festivities and put the event on firm footing for the future.

By Matthew Weinmann March 29, 2012