Author Archives: Voice Staff
As I lay dying on the beach: The final ruminations of a seal
Hey you there, reading the newspaper! I’m in a bit of a tight and sharp situation. I’m down here in the grips of this freaking great white shark. Why is this happening to me? Aren’t the odds of getting eaten by a shark one in a million? I mean, yes, but I’m a seal. Sharks eat seals all the time, but I always thought it would be another seal. Now I’m about to become a simple statistic. This shark won’t even remember me in a day.
Piranha 3DD blows like a killer whale’s waterspout
Piranha 3DD sinks water-animal horror movies to a new low. And I’m not talking about Marianas Trench low. This movie just bites.
Shark Week 2012
Madhuri Vairapandi Julien Isaacs

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