Timmy Sutton is a sophomore in the College. He is one of three spoken word poets highlighted in this week’s arts-themed digital issue. He performs this poem in a video above, and discusses it in this week’s “Fresh Voices” podcast.
I have been in love before
I have been broken before
I have built sand castles just to watch the tide roll in
I have written poems in river water and butterfly wings just to watch them open ocean hurricane away from me
I have kissed a girl too long trying to make a moment last that deserved rest
I have missed the forest fire for the trees
I have been in love
I have been broken
And I am ok.
Which isn’t so much to say
“’Tis better to have loved”
As it is to say
“’Tis probably should’ve just like-liked and gotten out of there and like-liked a couple more people instead but I guess I’ll live”
Which isn’t to say that love is bad
Just that it’s not always the best option
Just that sometimes love
Is the guac when you didn’t really have the money to get chipotle in the first place
And you really want it
And you think that this guac would make your life
So
Much
Better
But your maturity and affection and mental stability bank accounts
Are running really low
And sometimes we get the guac even when we can’t afford it and
Even though it tastes delicious, the next check bounces
Sometimes, we get the guac before we even know that our accounts are a thing
And boom
Your credit’s destroyed
And you didn’t even realize you were making payments in the first place
Or you’re staring at the cherry blossom
Drifting itself into the Potomac
Wishing you were a cherry blossom
Or at least not the thing you are right now
Which is not to disparage the guac!
Because the guac is and always will be delicious
It’s just that you don’t always need it
Sometimes, you just need the burrito (both kinds of rice, both kinds of beans, steak, the spicy salsa, cheese, sour cream, lettuce, to go, please, thanks)
Sometimes, you just need someone to hold your hand and remind you you’re beautiful and worth someone thinking you’re worth something
Sometimes that’s the better option.
And I know
That the phrase in question is not about Alfred’s high school girlfriend
It’s about his best friend
My high school girlfriend was my best friend
And I ordered the guac before I even got past the salsa
And I don’t regret it
Because how can you regret something that tastes so good
But I do sometimes wish I had saved what I spent
Saved it for something with a little more permanence
Cause truth be told
I don’t even really like Chipotle that much in the first place
And I could’ve put that money towards anything
That guac could’ve been a trip back to Texas
That guac could’ve been a down payment on a house I haven’t even seen yet
I could’ve avoided a year of
Bounced checks and bridge edges
That guac could’ve been something permanent
But it wasn’t
Instead it was simply lovely
Simply delicious for a moment
And that is ok.
And I am ok.
I am ok.
Video credits: Danielle Hewitt (Executive Producer), Kayla Hewitt (video)
