Agony Aunt: Advice for Beret Virgins

How do I become someone who wears a beret, but like, in a chill way?

Dear Reader,

I, too, have wondered how to style a beret. But before I begin, I feel obliged to tell you that the following advice comes from someone who rewatched Lady Bird during Covid—specifically the Thanksgiving scene where she’s wearing a black beret while getting high in the kitchen with her friends. I then promptly ordered a beret online, knowing full well I could never, ever, pull off a beret. When it arrived in the mail several days later it looked worse than I could have imagined.

I am tempted to write off beret-fever as a Covid side effect, but that would be medical misinformation. There is something alluring about the beret. So I guess the first piece of advice I’d give is to question why you want to join the legions of beret-wearers. Are you trying to emulate a specific style icon or aesthetic? Are you trying to be a trend-setter? Or are you just plain bored with your life and think Paris is a good idea (D.C. isn’t all that different)? Or maybe I’m psychoanalyzing a little too much and you just think berets look cool. Regardless, identifying why you want to style a beret and placing it within the greater context of your style goals creates a landscape in which the beret can thrive. It is, after all, only one component of a complicated outfit.

That being said, for the virgin beret-wearer who is a bit hazy on how the beret fits into their style goals, I recommend you go down one of two routes: Funkytown or Winter Chic.

With Funkytown (aka Lady Bird style), you embrace the beret’s artistic aesthetic (Beatniks, painters, etc). Build some texture into the outfit, perhaps with stripes or corduroy. Whatever color your beret is, try to incorporate corresponding accents in the rest of your outfit. Boots or loafers pair nicely as well. For this look, I would recommend not attempting the stereotypical slanted placement. Instead, I would center the beret on the crown of the head, poofing up the front a bit (think middle-aged art teacher with investment banker husband who lives in a messy New York City brownstone and loves felted flowers).

The other option is Winter Chic. In this look, the beret serves as more of a practical piece and less as a statement topper. This nod to functionality can help tone down the cap’s pretentiousness, for sadly looking insufferable is a risk of the beret. Pair a neutral beret with a camel coat (or another suitably classy long coat) and leather-looking boots. Try lots of different placements and go with the one that looks the most casual and functional for your head shape. Whatever you do, do not allow it to flop flaccid like a flapjack. The beret must have body. Now, as we are using the beret as a winter hat here, it should really only be seen with your coat, shoes, gloves, and maybe a bag. But to truly step up the beret styling, you might consider matching the outfit underneath as well. The goal is Parisian (minus the arrogance): simple, lots of neutrals, well-fitting clothing—an outfit that looks incredibly put-together while also looking like you just grabbed the first few things in your closet.

Lastly, consider if you are even a hat person to begin with. Some people just don’t look good in hats. I am one of them. If you are too, consider aborting the beret mission. Other people look good in hats but have hat-anxiety. If you already get uncomfortable wearing baseball caps, you’ll probably be more uncomfortable wearing a beret. Which brings me to my final, most annoying and unhelpful, but nevertheless crucial piece of advice: Confidence. If you walk around all day worrying, “Oh no, everyone is looking at me and they can tell I am not a Beret Person and think I look stupid,” you and your beret are done for. If you take a deep breath and decide instead to stroll around, your beret a mere hat—a simple accessory!—you will most likely exude a gentle elegance, a natural charm. I make no guarantees. I am just your average joe here, no expert. But perhaps my lack of credentials qualifies me to make these statements more than any fashionista.

If you’re feeling the urge to style a beret, I say go for it! Even though the beret isn’t for me (at least for now), I believe that experimenting with it was a valuable exercise in self-expression and styling. In my Lady Bird-inspired attempts to style a beret, I realized that what I really wanted was to bring more of her beret energy into my life. She goes to live music and dances in the kitchen, and her beret is a symbol of her devil-may-care whimsy. It doesn’t matter if the beret perfectly matches her outfit, because her attitude carries it, making her presentation cohesive. It really all comes back to confidence and attitude!

On that reflection, I leave you to go experiment with your beret. If you’re feeling brave, you can put your styling to the ultimate test by visiting France—if the Parisiens approve, I dare say you’ve made it. If they speak to you in English right away…blame me and rework the look.

To recap: