The Voice's top 25 uses for The Hoya

The Voice’s top 25 uses for The Hoya

April 1, 2025

Umbrella
To shield a table when you’re painting
To wipe your ass
Kindling for a fire
To place under a rickety leg to fix an uneven table
Picnic blanket at the farmers market
Paper mache material
An interesting place mat for your Vil A dinner parties
Letters to cut out for a ransom note
Raw material for the trashion show
To cover up things in your trash from your late-night sneaky link that you don’t want your roommate to see
To hold up when you’re avoiding your many opps on campus
Scrap paper to write directions to the Voice office
Gift wrap for your friend’s birthday because you’re broke
Packing material for your mugs when you move out imminently soon
To dry your shoes after a filthy run in the rain
Lampshades for your boyfriend’s VCW to make his godforsaken fluorescent light tolerable
To dry your suit
A soft place to spill your coffee on in Uncommon Grounds
Place for your three-legged dog to pee
To cover your stuff when your friend’s yacking at 10:30 a.m. on Georgetown Day
To make it look like you recycle to your crush
To cover up your victims in the woods behind the observatory
To raise the laptop so the angle is better on your Zoom interviews so your future employer isn’t staring up your nose
Stuffing for a crochet rat